#he’s kinda a melancholy character too so it feels fitting lol

[w1lmuttart]

All music I make sounds so melancholy lmao

Anyway wip (both music and drawing)

[dufferpuffer]

Remus' wand is made from Cypress. what fo you think, is it suits him? 🤔

In short: Eh… I don't think Cypress suits him all that well, no. It suits Severus more. It's not the worst… but there's a much better option for Remus. And it's already sitting in the hand of another character.

Note: Wand Wood descriptions from the Wand Lore and Wand Core Pottermore. While not canon, take them with a grain of salt, I also use descriptions from the 'Unofficial Ultimate Harry Potter Spellbook' - because I like them. B^)

Firstly, Wand Cores (out of the three cores Ollivander uses): Reading the Wand Core Pottermore page and summarizing in my own words:

Dragon Heartstring: Powerful, Quick-Learners, Artistic, Cooperative but somewhat disloyal. Temperamental. If you can put a Dragon wand to use it will be happy in your hand - but might find itself happier in another. Is okay with Dark Magic.

Phoenix Feather: Wide range, Slow to learn, Picky, Somewhat aloof, Independent, Difficult to tame. If you can impress a Phoenix wand it will bond with you, but it is a union earned through effort and patience.

Unicorn Hair: Consistent, Unwavering, Loyal, Uncritical, Not the strongest, prone to melancholy. Kinda needy - bonds easily and will be consistent for them and only them - withers and dies when left alone. Struggles with Dark Magic.

I agree with Remus having a Unicorn Hair core. Dragon would be a decent fit too - but Unicorn Hair is too good: Not the strongest... but attaches himself to whoever will have him and remains utterly loyal. Withers with sadness when left behind. No matter the 'darkness' in him - he is not dark by nature. Solid.

--- Wand Woods:

Cypress (I'm actually whittling a Remus wand made of Cypress right now ha)

'Cypress wands are associated with nobility. The great medieval wandmaker, Geraint Ollivander, wrote that he was always honoured to match a cypress wand, for he knew he was meeting a witch or wizard who would die a heroic death. Fortunately, in these less blood-thirsty times, the possessors of cypress wands are rarely called upon to lay down their lives, though doubtless many of them would do so if required. Wands of cypress find their soul mates among the brave, the bold and the self-sacrificing: those who are unafraid to confront the shadows in their own and others’ natures.'

...I would not describe Remus as 'noble'. I wouldn't say his self-sacrificing nature was particularly 'noble'. Sure... Remus would lay his life down for someone else. He'd lay his life down for no good reason too - like avoiding hot sex with a cool lady he loves. My man is unwell... He isn't bold and he isn't brave... He CERTAINLY isn't unafraid to face his own shadow. Like holy shit lol

I have a feeling the Author paired him with Cypress after deciding he would die - that Cypress was written around Remus, to give him a little something sweet. It paints his death in a good light: saying he grew beyond all his issues; changed for the better before the end. And while he was starting to heal and grow before his end - his progress was cut short by his death, not punctuated by it.

It was a tragic and 'pointless' death, other than to 'clean up' the old generation. (which I am not against. It is satisfying enough in its tragedy. I can't think of a particular reason why Remus should remain alive when the rest of his friends don't… it would feel weird. Tonks' death on the other hand I HATE-) He didn't die an especially heroic death. He just died.

You can say it was noble of him to risk dying in order to try and ensure his son had a better world to live in... but he was also okay with risking dying so Tonks could 'move on' from him, and he almost chose the high risk of traveling with Harry rather than staying with her when pregnant... those were seen as cowardly and cruel. He could have ensured that his son had a dad that would be there for him - but he didn't. Once again he chose risk over staying with those that need him. This is a tangent - I just mean there's nothing special about his death that made it more noble than anyone else.

Unofficial HP Spellbook: 'Pairs well with those who are gallant and unselfish. In Greek mythology, the tree's namesake, Cyparissus, was turned into a tree as punishment for accidentally killing a sacred stag gifted to him by Apollo. It's long been associated with death, grief, mourning and the underworld' (btw cypress oil is antibacterial, antimicrobial, and antifungal.)

The stag thing is, at a glance, 'wooahh just like James-!' ...but Remus didn't do that. Remus didn't accidentally get James or Harry killed. Nor did he turn into a tree and root to the one spot - he runs away, is hard to track down... It just doesn't fit him quite right.

Cypress fits Severus more than it fits Remus. Noble in life and death, called to lay down his life, brave, bold and self-sacrificing - has dedicated his life to confronting his 'shadow'. Plus the sacrificing a stag thing, being associated with grief and mourning, rooting like a tree to the one spot as a punishment - and having healing elements...? Severus Snape.

...There is a wood I think suits Remus FAR better:

Hawthorn

'The wandmaker Gregorovitch wrote that hawthorn ‘makes a strange, contradictory wand, as full of paradoxes as the tree that gave it birth, whose leaves and blossoms heal, and yet whose cut branches smell of death.’ While I disagree with many of Gregorovitch’s conclusions, we concur about hawthorn wands, which are complex and intriguing in their natures, just like the owners who best suit them. Hawthorn wands may be particularly suited to healing magic, but they are also adept at curses, and I have generally observed that the hawthorn wand seems most at home with a conflicted nature, or with a witch or wizard passing through a period of turmoil. Hawthorn is not easy to master, however, and I would only ever consider placing a hawthorn wand in the hands of a witch or wizard of proven talent, or the consequences might be dangerous. Hawthorn wands have a notable peculiarity: their spells can, when badly handled, backfire.'

Contradictory, Complex, Conflicted Nature... Healing but 'smells' of death... Passing through a period of turmoil... Requires skills to master or else face dangerous consequences... can backfire...

Unofficial HP Spellbook: 'Well-suited for both curses and healing magic, hawthorn (also called the 'May-tree') carries with it a bit of superstition. The hawthorn blossom releases trimethylamine, a chemical that forms in decaying animal tissue, which might help explain why many in the U.K. associated the plant with death and don't want it in their home.'

So the description of this wood is Remus J. Lupin's biography. A complex and contradictory man, constantly conflicted, his entire life in a state of turmoil… Healing, soothing, but has a sorta 'death' that follows him... He needs to be skilled in controlling everything about himself, lest he or others face danger... When he mishandles situations they backfire in his own face. Also an 'explosive' wand sorta suits his rare outbursts - like when he shot a hex at Harry... The superstitious 'not wanting it in your home' thing is ALSO good.

Interestingly, Hawthorn with a Unicorn core... is Draco's wand. But... I feel like this combination suits Remus better than Draco…

HAWTHORN AND UNICORN HAIR: Contradictory - but consistent. Complex - but uncritical. Conflicted - but unwavering at the core. Passing through turmoil but will not fall to 'darkness'. Holding together with bonds of sheer loyalty. Not the strongest but highly skilled - through necessity of controlling danger. Can backfire when fumbled. Withers in melancholy when losing precious bonds.

This wand doesn't just describe a positive look of Remus' last choices. It's an honest wand. Humbling. It fits his weaknesses while holding up his triumphs. I can see it working for him his entire life, from an 11yr old with a heavy weight on his shoulders to growing and healing with his wife.

[stuffedsand]

T3 cover thoughts,,, and psuedo guesses

Haruka : considering both of his songs were from the android girl album I feel like he's gonna get a third. Of which the only other song I know the lyrics to is relationship scramble.

I think it could work ("right now I want instant love", could be the whole any attention is good, negative inclusive, so long as it's attention) (bro idk)

Yuno : honestly not a clue haha, tho I think Rabbit Hole would work (+it's a popular prediction for her, I haven't listened to it but it could be a good choice?)

Fuuta : .....he got Salamander this trial I don't know what they're gonna give him anymore....I don't even know what the deal is with mosaik role,,,,,

Maybe Chimera? I've only listened to it once but it has the Vibes tm. I think it fits? I'm not very good at lyrical analysis but it'd be fun idk

(or volt tackle haha)

Muu : Theory of Negativity because idk it vibes. Similar to otome dissection kinda idk

Alternatively, Cinderella just cuz it....vibes like her I don't have a better explanation sorry

Shidou : I reeeally want to say cosmic rendezvous,,,, but it doesnt fit with his other covers. I hope dearly for cosmic rendezvous but let be realistic haha

My prediction. Ghost Rule or 118. Ghost Rule would be fun !!!! 118 would be, to me, if someone died in t3, cuz the lyrics can be twisted abit. It'd be so fun. Also "no law to pardon my crime" and "ethics are a delusion, but I'm still guilty when the morning comes" vibe the same. Also his va can do it I believe in him

The cover would also SLAP cuz from what I can tell shidous covers have a more...frantic? Energy to them and that works for a lot of the GHOST album songs. Anyways Ghost Rule milgram cover?? Please??

Mahiru : I had more but I forgot so here's the ones I remembered

U (unlikely, it's a English song... But hey it'd be fun) / Poison Apple (I'd say poison apple works for kazui but... There are funnier picks for him so)

I think her voice fits for these songs idk they just...vibe. really well. I believe in her va

Most fitting from what Ive seen is Zombies or Psuedo-Hope Syndrome which would work vocally and thematically I think! Idk tho haha mahirus is really vibe based

Kazui : ok wishful thinking : Ghost Rule. Fits with the liar theme. But I already gave it to shidou and it doesn't fit his other two covers (sad melancholy) so he gets the song I initially chose for shidou! Cosmic Rendezvous. A win for old man yaoi truthers (JOKE)

No seriously. The lyrics could be read as non romantic, and it continues his cover theme of Regret. It'd be fun, thematically relevant, fir the other covers, AND it'd hurt me. Perfect. If he does get cosmic rendezvous I will cry

Alternatively; we the hostages (?) Idk this pick was also solely vibes. I really want cosmic rendezvous though but that's cuz I want someone to say fuck

Amane : Angel Hair. I don't have a particular reason? Also this would be more in line with Positive Parade which was the trial one song.... And she got animal which I never would've expected so? Who knows. This is a fun list for vibes. Oh I think then all her songs would be Mannequin songs too

Mikoto : uhhhh (Not) a Devil. Cuz I'm not creative and it'd be funny. Uhh otherwise I'm not too sure.

Honourable mention that I think both Mikoto and Kotoko could get Addiction? By vibes alone lol cuz I can't read the captions...

Kotoko : imma be real I forgot. To kin assign her a song. But after having a short look at Anti - Beat I think she could get Dilemma? I think it works for kotoko. Idk

Tell me what songs you guys predict for any given character next trial I like seeing people's readings on what fits the character or the covers!!! Particularly kotoko, yuno and mikoto as much as I like their characters I don't have much of a read on them...

Also tell me what your favourite covers are!!!! I personally like both of shidous, kazui's, mahirus and fuuta's, and I really liked the monopoisoner one! (Haven't listened to reversible campaign enough to form opinion), as well as Harukas two breaths walking cover (haven't listened enough to the android girl one whoops)

[mrschwartz]

okay hi. i hate being succinct (like someone that starts with alex and ends with bitch) but here are my summarized first thoughts on the album

mirrorball: hooked me in from first listen when it was released as a single, that repeating motif underneath the whole thing, the melancholy that seeps from the music and the lyrics, those strings at the end and alex's falsetto spat in my face and called me a bitch. 9.5/10

i ain't quite: it's good, it's a good song. the "waaa" harmony def scratches an itch, and the best part of the whole thing is "the spare set of tingles will race up your spine if i get it my way" but it kinda feels like it's building towards something that never quite delivers nvjdnjdnf maybe that's the intention. but you know. it's good but my least fave so far. 7/10

sculptures: WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK IS THIS. god jvfnjdkjkcnfjnfj i'll never ever forget the first time i listened to this. my jaw was on the fucking floor. the instrumentals are orgasmic. fucking period. it made me cry And made me horny. alex's vocal delivery and the lyrics paired with the music give me such a pleasant eerie feeling if that makes sense. "gasp [gasp!] and roll your eyes" is so vndnjfnfjnjf and i'm fucking incoherent towards an indie rock British band Arctic Monkeys (tm) song having an honest to god bass drop. never ever thought this would be a direction they'd be interested in but i'm so glad they are. 10/10

jet skis: i've only had this song for a day and a half and if anything happened to it i'd kill everyone in this room and then myself. the funk-ish blues-ish tone of the guitar is my best friend. alex's voice is a warm hug. the lyrics are sooooo bittersweet. this is the one that stuck with the most after my first listen (along with sculptures ofc), "jet skis on the moat / they shot it all in cinemascope" (with the instrumentals underneath!) is such an earworm. 9.5/10

body paint: body paint. how do i even begin to explain body paint. alex's voice is really impressive in this, the chorus and the solo in the end fucking scalp me every time (also loved it from first listen as a single like mirrorball). the lyricssssssssssssssss kill me. i'm a sucker for the persona/character/double life thing, i've said it a hundred times lol so i'm def biased towards it. the only thing that keeps me from giving it a 10 is that they gave me a taste of what a full on out of the water true rock n roll outro sounds like in the live shows (esp the brussels one) and they took it away from me here, but i do understand why it's more subdued in the studio too as it fits the overall vibe of the album more. so. 9.5/10

the car: if this song was just the folk-ish fingerpicking (GOD THE FINGERPICKING) and drums motif it would still be amazing but they went beyond. FOR US. that distorted guitar at the end paired with the haunting strings is very climatic. i def still need some time with the words to maybe get closer to what he's getting at but i love them! 9/10

big ideas: i love you big ideas i love you. the piano stabs and the darker strings (cello and double bass) particularly stand out to me and tick me in such a specific way. god i can't. i've talked about the lyrics (it's been like a week and i already have matured my opinion on them nfjnjfvn) which are heartbreaking in a beautiful way. the crunchy guitar solo is heavenly. alex's chuckle after "we had them out of their seats" shot me right between the eyes. 9.5/10

hello you: oh why hello tlsp song what are you doing around these parts jnjfjnfvjg that keyboard thingy that opens it and that appears again in the chorus (how i wish i knew music theory lol) is very pleasing and the guitar backs it up beautifully. ALEX'S VOICE;;;; def a stand out in the album (esp "why not rewind to rawborough snooker club" godddddddddd). i also need some more time with the lyrics in this one to get more what's he's talking about here but i have my theories and they're devastating fvjfvnjgn. 9.5/10

mr schwartz: finger fucking picking man. but surprisingly my fave part about this track are the drums! i love how retro they sound. reminds me of some sort of specific 40s-60s vibe i'm not well versed enough in to pinpoint exactly what it is or what it'd be called. def bossa nova but not Just bossa nova you know? the lyrics are about the persona/character/double life thing so yeah yeah ofc i love them and the way they break my heart. great song. 9/10

perfect sense: this song sounds like a goodbye. need i say more????? "if that's what it takes for me to say good night then that's what it takes" what a fucking Gorgeous melody my god. this one also sounds like it had the potential to crescendo into a grandiose orchestral solo moment in the outro and then it didn't, which i'm still scratching my head about but i'm not that mad about it, bc in the end it's just such a sweet sweet tune (bittersweet, but more sweet than bitter i think). i love the way it sounds i love the way it makes me feel. they just get how to do closers man, they do! 9.5/10

[notnctu]

sugar | s.j ❀

━ listen to: sugar by brockhampton 

❀ johnny suh x fem!reader ❀ genre - smut, angst, fluff? ❀ details - fwb!au, kinda unrequited love? who knows lol, sweet love makin ❀ word count - 2k ❀ synopsis - he’s always a call away, ready to love you when you think no one else will. and this will be the one time you ask him to spend the night because johnny suh is the only sweetener you need in your bitterness. 

❀ a/n: hello its author doie❀! its based off of the song sugar which is one of my favs ever so i hope u enjoy this smut, rlly this was just me avoiding explicit words lol ps i have never laughed harder in my life when @legendnct​​ (ily hannah) asked me if i was J O R N Y when i told her i was writing this at 4am 

The honey dripping, rush of candy goodness, and sugar high of a man --- Johnny Suh. He’s like walking on sunshine, no other cares in the world can harm him, and with a bright happiness that promises anything worth fighting for.

He stands six feet tall of sunflowers that turn up to the clear blue skies and soak up the positive energy needed for growth. Johnny Suh, the man that has sugar addicts craving for a slice of his attention; Johnny Suh is the epitome of goodness and virtue.

And the puzzling, estranged question of why you are his subject of sweetness is beyond any galaxy and he’d never tell a soul his reason behind his many dazed gazes, or if they even had much meaning to them. Johnny Suh is the one boy that wears his heart on his sleeve, but holds your’s at his fingertips.

There have been many countless encounters of long and, some unfortunately short, nights of sleeping with bodies that only add to the list of people you’ve kissed. But to have consistency in that aspect? Quite hesitant, to say the least.

While you are able to tolerate a random one night stand with no necessary remembrance of the individual’s name, to give your vulnerability and consistent attention to one person is asking for too much. A flawed characteristic of yours is falling in love too easily.

The hookups are meaningless, quick fucks to fill the evening and rid the irritable desire of lust. The muscles involved exclude the heart because there is no opportunity to fall for someone if you are only going to part ways right afterwards.

Yet, the one remarkable night with Johnny turned into several nights which led into your current relationship with the glowing sun. The one thing you had wished to steer away from --- a friend with benefits.

There was no metaphorical gun to your head, you weren’t forced to sign a contract, there were no ridiculously restrictive rules. No boundaries to hold you back.

When there is no fencing around the edge of a cliff, is that grounds for people to free fall? Regardless, your lack of self control and demising loneliness had you jumping and falling into Johnny’s comfort. The golden boy is someone hard to come by, and you’re not foolish enough to turn down this once in a lifetime chance to be intimately acquainted.

But as you continued to see him, there was an unconscious decision to stop your other random flings. It felt like you already had someone to fulfill the ache, someone to spend your nights with. If you needed him, he’d be there. So, unknowingly by choice, you made yourself exclusive to him, even though Johnny did not decide to do the same.

That shouldn’t bother you, right? But it does. The worst part is that it’s no one’s fault but your own. Johnny’s harmless actions affect you because your feelings allow them to. As much as you ignore the fact you two are nothing more than friends with benefits, the annoying drumming of your foolish heart reminds you of your denial.

While you’ve always had a bitter palette, the dash of sweetener never hurt anyone. He never hurts anyone, with his best efforts. And the intent should have been made clear, that your nightly hookups are an unhealthy coping mechanism. Too much sugar has your glucose levels derailing and seeking out the one person that lights up your endorphins.

The love for Johnny stems from his warmhearted character. His bubbly, goodwill nature that has him overextending himself for people who take him for granted. An extroverted, head-turning personality that you can’t despise and look away, instead are easily attracted to.

Johnny is kind, he’s thoughtful, yet entirely complex as a human being with a fair share of cloudy days. He is simply someone you want to get to know because he makes the atmosphere a safe space and he reads like an open hardback book.

Everyone has a small crush on him, it would be a complete tyranny of your feelings to deny it. Some infatuations are bigger than others and you’ll shamefully admit that you fit under this group of individuals.

On another lonely night, you wonder if he’d be at your will and call, if he would drop the world to come make you feel better. One moment, you are staring at his contact name and imaging the deep voice answering with his signature greeting. The next, you’re actually hearing his voice on the other end of the receiver and panic settles as it’s too late to cancel the call.

“Hey baby, what’s up?” The nickname sends a crown of hearts swirling around your temples. However, he sounds rushed, like he had been in the middle of a strenuous activity.

A nervousness has stammered words falling from your lips, and you’re too incoherent for even your own mind to understand. Johnny chuckles lovingly, and the slight rustling that distorts the background has you imagining that the phone is pressed between his cheek and shoulder. “Collect your thoughts, babe. I’m ready whenever you are.”

A heavy notable sigh erupts into Johnny’s ear, but he doesn’t pull away from the device. He’s all ears, attentive and patiently waiting for you to speak, despite having company on his bed.

“I need you. Can you come over?” If only pride wasn’t so hard to swallow, the question would have flowed much smoother. As if your heart grew hands, it chokes your throat from the inside and you’re preparing yourself for the rejection.

Truthfully, he isn’t obligated to come and there have been rare nights where he declines your offer. But your hope holds onto the slipping strands and the tension of your nerves have fists forming and eyes squeeze shut.

Johnny takes a fast peek at the girl already in his sheets, mindlessly and effortlessly scrolling through her social media. There is a hint of sadness in your voice that he can’t let go and while that’s usually not entirely uncommon, he can tell it took a lot for you to call tonight. So, he finds himself pulling up his sweats and a clean shirt over his head.

“Be there before you know it.” And the clench in your throat relaxes, along with the other parts that had your nails digging moon crescents into your palm and wrinkles forming at your tight creases.

And with a sweet goodbye, he hangs up the call and politely offers to take the girl home as he makes his way over to your place. And you’re dosing yourself in puffs of fruity scents and cleaning up the runny mascara around your under eyes.

With no words exchanged, Johnny knows every way to heal you and dawn a warmth that coats your darkest corners. All you have to do is open the door and let him in. His strength has you lifted from the ground, lips hungry to devour your softness.

A few fumble steps, he reaches your room at ease and gently lays you on your neatly made sheets. Johnny is consistent, no missed beats when it comes to loving you, and without a fail, he always takes a moment to himself to step back and admire your beauty. And your priceless shyness is also an added delight to the scene.

Each article of clothing is discarded and left at different areas of your small room, kisses lining your worst parts to you, but the best parts to him. When you can’t love parts of yourself, Johnny loves them for you and makes you whole.

“Were you in the middle of something?” It did not become aware to you of the possibility that you had interrupted something else, or someone else. And even if Johnny did choose to see you over spending time with them, you have the decent courtesy to make sure he is okay with his decision.

“Nothing important.” You’ll never be able to read him or notice any lies he tells. His smile is enough reassurance, and your question is quickly forgotten when his fingers dive into your wet flower. He uses his thumb to soothe circles around your growing bud, making your whole lower half blossom with trembling ecstasy.

His lips leave soft reminders to love your thighs, your legs, to not overlook their importance: they carry your graciousness into new ventures. Then, he pushes them wide open as he bends your left knee and your right dangles over his sturdy shoulder. The tight grip on your hip is bound to leave marks the next morning, along with the dark love bites he leaves across your canvas.

But his thoughts are focused on the meal ahead, your sugary juices coat the plush of his tongue. He remembers exactly how you like it, where melodic sounds hit the silence in gasps or groans. He suckles, he licks, he kisses your bead in a speed that has his brown locks tangled in between your fingers.

He drinks up more than your wetness, but also the pure image of your fucked out expression and the twists of your reacting body. He wants to surpass your limits, max you out until there isn’t a hint of melancholy in your tone anymore. To remember, to remind, to recall your happiness through heightened pleasure.

At the announcement of your high, he enters your spasming hole with rubber already on and groans at your walls squeezing around him, which halts him in place. However, the dragged movement of his length hits your sweet spot, your orgasm prolongs into a rapturous euphoria and you’re no longer in control of your body.

Johnny’s toned arms hold you close to him. The chemistry in your gazes has your heart pounding faster than his hips. As ruthless as each thrust is and each push moves you an inch upward on the bed, Johnny’s eyes are still kind and loving.

His fluttering kisses are delicate and nurturing. The marks resemble a healing touch that will settle you enough for the next day. For the night, he rids any angst that corrupts your mood by loving you when you think no one else will.

Together, your bodies fall into one another with a bite of elation as he finishes into the protection and your walls hug around him for the last time tonight. Even when your bodies disconnect, the feeling of fullness lingers and you wish to keep this for as long as you can. No more emptiness, not right now.

Perhaps it's the daze of your orgasm, but your hand reaches for his wrist to stop him from making his exit so soon. Selfishly, carelessly, honestly, this will be the one time you ask for him to spend the night. You can’t stand seeing him go, not at this instant. You refuse to spend one more night alone when your heart longs for him to be by your side when you fall asleep.

While the big heart of his beats speechlessly at your request, he lays down to draw you into his toned chest and pampers your forehead with honeyed pecks. Like many times before, no words need to be exchanged for him to know the remedy to your somber.

Possibly, the scene with Johnny caressing your chin and tracing your smile lines is all too perfect for your imperfect reality. And him whispering and wishing a happier narrative for you is more than what you had asked for. Nonetheless, he’s very good at it, mentally noting the fact that he’s probably done the same to other hookups or broken friends.

While you can get used to this form of aftercare, the guards you put up tell you that this is a one time thing. So, you’ll take and indulge all of Johnny’s affection and false love for the next few hours you had left of the night.

Nevertheless, even sweetness can be an overpowering flavor when consumed in tremendous amounts. And you wonder when you’d grow sick of his candied sugar or if you’d just forfeit your health to keep indulging more into your addiction. A sickly saccharine question of your own will be the pit of your downfall: do you love me?

[wandasleftshoe]

Too Young Too Burn

Mobius x Female Reader

A/N: so my account was deleted lmao and this is a re-upload. this post was originally getting some likes so I decided to repost it, and hopefully this time my stuff doesn’t wack out. But for first time readers, this is my first ever fic lol! I was cracked out on nicotine and red bull when I wrote it, so it might be all over the place. alsooooo if any of u like this, I turned on my asks so feel free to request something! I’ll do any Marvel character, male/female/gender neutral, so feel free to ask lol turns out I enjoy writing

Word Count: 2.5k 

Triggers: bad language, kinda sort angst, a tragedy ending in suicide, death

It started off as a simple school boy crush.

She was a new member to the office, a new analyst that would train alongside Mobius, nothing was supposed to come of it but a friendly coworker relationship. (The only kind of relationship allowed in the office, the Time Lizards have sticks up their asses.) The first day he met her, she was in a standard TVA uniform, beige slacks and a button up shirt of another drab color. Though when she entered the room, an air of confidence came with her, sweeping him off his feet like something out of a Midgard fairytale. She was introduced to him as [y/n] [y/l], newest to the TVA’s section of analysts, preferring to study dangerous variants, much like himself. He was immediately taken by her attention to detail, he felt her eyes studying him the entire time his bosses boss introduced them to each other.

Her attention to detail, as mentioned before, was brought to his attention when she mentioned his hands fiddling with the hem of his blazer. She noted that he didn’t give off a nervous energy, but with the way his hands were going you would have thought that the boss had caught him doing something he wasn’t supposed to. As they continued their conversation, more and more was pointed out that he didn’t even notice himself; she seemed to be a perfect fit for his team.

Their first day consisted of standard paperwork and the general office tour, Mobius introduced her to his boss, Ravonna Renslayer, as well as a strew of other office members they pasted in the hall that Mobius could remember a name for. Let’s be real, he just rambled on so that he could try to forget how kindly she smiled at him and how her eyes twinkled when talking about the job at hand. He thought if he could get past the first day and the excitement of gaining a new coworker, the odd feeling creeping into his heart would go away.

As the day went on and he got to know his new coworker better, he believed the relationship would grow into an unstoppable workforce bond. As the nice coworker he is and to start this unstoppable force off right, he offered to buy her dinner at a restaurant not far from the office (totally not to hang out with her for a little while longer). The time they spent both at the office and eating dinner, Mobius couldn’t quite help but find this new girl fascinating and for lack of a better term, lovely.

But it was just a school boy crush, right?

Time went on, sooner rather than later, Mobius and [y/n] found themselves working together quite often on cases. New cases left and right, most of them being Loki variants, surprise surprise. The more difficult they grew, the more time Mobius spent with the (not so) new girl. Between late nights in the office and many almost death situations, the two found themselves becoming close friends amongst the sea of the neverending bureaucracy. Though still as before, he felt that odd feeling in his heart growing stronger each time she brought him his coffee just the way he liked it or added fuel to his jetski fantasies.

What solidified that feeling in his chest was the night he and [y/n] went on a smaller mission by themselves, July 29th, 1890.

It was a clear night, though somber, both knowing what was supposed to happen. The air was warm and the moon was shining bright over the quiet fields of Auvers-sur-Oise. No, they weren’t looking for a variant of Vincent, he did indeed die tragically in this nexus event. No, no, they were looking for the person who burned all of his paintings in a rage, hence throwing off the timeline. Without the paintings, no memory of Van Gogh would be left for the future, and that’s not how the Time Lizards wanted it to be. So they were there, under the melancholy skies of France.

It was taking longer than planned, they ended up having to spend the night in an old cabin near the edge of the old town. A slow fire burned in the den of the cabin where [y/n] was reading, while Mobius was trying to find some sort of food to keep the two of them from going to bed with their stomachs rumbling. To no avail, there was nothing in the abandoned cabin so he gave in and entered the den of the cabin. There, he was met with the serene and abnormally domestic [y/n] in front of him. Usually the new girl was like a chicken with it’s head cut off; running around the office to put her wild theories to the test or just the general hectic vibe that went along with their job that made her hair stick out on all sides of her head from her running her hands through it in frustration. But this scene sitting quietly in front of him was something he didn’t know he wanted in his life. She was sitting on the ancient furniture with a book in her hands, hair down and surrounding her face in a way that made his heart palpitate. She was relaxed for once, not an ounce of stress weighing on her shoulders as she immersed herself in the world of whatever book she found on the old shelves. He could even see that her work shirt was untucked and her shoes were off, showing off her mix matched socks. He didn’t even know mix matched socks were a thing, but she pulled them off perfectly.

She looked up when he hadn’t said anything for a solid 4 and a half minutes, he was too busy taking in the scene in front of him to notice he was just open mouth staring at her. It didn’t bother her really, though silence with Mobius around was quite unheard of, so she filled it.

“Suis-je trop vieux pour alimenter cette passion et la laisser me consumer - ou suis-je encore trop jeune pour savoir quels dommages cela fera?”

“I’m sorry, w-what?”

“Am I too old to throw fuel onto this passion and let it consume me — or am I still too young to know what damage that will do?” She said again, in english this time. She knew he could understand her, everyone in the TVA could speak and understand a multitude of languages. She just wanted to see what his reaction would be when she said it to him. “It’s a quote from this diary. The person who wrote it was in their mid 20s when they did this entry, they’re writing of their partner. They were in love, but poor and couldn’t afford to be married. The writer got an offer to marry into a wealthy family, but they turned it down, hoping for everything to work out in the end.”

The explanation of the words she spoke before hit Mobius a little harder than they should have, the author of the diary was caught between a rock and hard place. Much like he found himself in right now, even if he refused to believe it before tonight. Seeing the domestic life he could have right in front of him made his head spin, his heart hurt, and his love for his job lessen a bit. He was grateful to the Time Lizards for creating him, for giving him the life he has in the TVA, but seeing what life could be like on Earth startled him. He didn’t know he wanted it until it was right in front of him, taunting him like a cat chasing a laser light. A life on Earth, with the girl sitting right in front of him; that was all he wanted. Jetski be damned (not really, he would love to have a jetski alongside this lifestyle). Even if he couldn’t live a normal life on the Sacred Timeline, he wanted to be with her. After all this time getting to know her and the little details of her soul between official meetings and paperwork piles, he finally realized what that feeling was in this moment.

But he knew it could never happen. Not here, not in the TVA. It simply wasn’t allowed. So he swallowed his feelings, but he never forgot that sweet, peaceful night. They talked, laughed, and even cried together that night, both of them tucking that memory in their hearts and reliving it in times when they most missed the feeling they didn’t know they could miss.

Again, time passed from that night in France, they did eventually catch the variant and reset the timeline. After, they only grew closer as the late nighter grew later and newer, tougher missions appeared on their radar. Their biggest being the Loki variant killing more and more Minute Men, and the case was beginning to take a turn. They brought in a new Loki variant, one front 2012 just after the attack on New York. He was cunning and a very good liar, but he grew on both Mobius and [y/n]. It wasn’t long before they actually found the dangerous Loki variant with 2012 Loki on their side, but he betrayed them and followed the other Loki into the portal, losing both a friend and a lead.

This devastated Mobius, it was his last chance to prove to the Time Lizards that their Loki could be trusted, that he was changing and doing good for the TVA. But he’s a Loki, and they all should have guessed something was going to happen. But they guessed what would happen next.

They found the two variants, out of sheer luck in the Lamentis apocalypse. When both were brought in, it wasn't long before all hell let loose. Mobius found out the TVA was actually just made up of variants, they were all variants, and none of this was what it had been told to them. It was all lies. At first it gutted him, he didn’t believe Loki, but after some snooping, he found out they weren’t lying. Then, hope sparked in his chest. Life without the TVA meant, eventually, he could live out his domestic dream. With the girl of his dreams, [y/n].

With the (fragile) trust in Loki and hope in his heart for a new life with [y/n], he flew into action. He busted Loki out of the loop he had originally put him in, and swapping his Tempad with Renslayer, he now had the proof that Loki was telling the truth. With this renewed faith in his friend, he was going to expose the truth to everyone. They had a right to know, they had a right to their former memories. They had a right to free will.

Only, he didn’t get that far. Suddenly, he and Loki were being escorted to Renslayers office. If there’s one thing about Mobius, he had good intuition, and the feeling he had in his gut was telling him something was very wrong. Of course Renslayer knew he switched their Tempads, he knew he wouldn’t have much time, but it felt like only a matter of minutes before he was caught. He didn’t even have time to go find [y/n] and explain to her what was going on, he didn’t have time to tell her his feelings, and he knew he was going to get pruned if Renslayer found out before he could spread the truth.

But once he stepped into Renslayer’s office, the feeling in his gut froze, sending goosebumps all over his body.

Not only were he and Loki standing in the middle of her office, but so was [y/n]. She was thrashing against G-17, who had her in a chokehold. The scene made his blood boil, [y/n] had no idea what was going on, she was innocent. The thought of anything happening to her gutted him, he wasn’t going to let that happen.

“I uh, I think I grabbed yours by mistake,” he starts out, trying to get out of this smoothly, but he knew Renslayer was going to take that obvious lie, he was no god of mischief. She gave him a cold look that only the devil himself could forge, and ordered D-90 to take the Tempad from him, shaking her head at Mobius in disappointment.

“Mobius, what’s going on?” [y/n] asked, her voice wasn’t faltering, but her usually confident demeanor was gone. She was worried, she knew something bad was going to happen, she knew something was going on with the two variants, it just hadn’t been disclosed how fucked the situation was. All Mobius wanted to do was take her away from this place and tell her what she meant to him. Before anything could happen to him.

“Tell her, Mobius. Tell her how you’ve betrayed the TVA and joined forces with the two Loki Variants. Tell her how you betrayed her trust,” Renslayer says with a silver tongue, looking coldly at not only Loki (the usual) but also Mobius, a look he’s never received from her before on any other occasion than a joke. He could feel his time ticking away, he could only stall so much and there was nothing left to stall. All he had was the truth.

“Look, [y/n], they’re all lying to us. We’re all variants, all of us, they took us from the Timeline. This place- this place isn’t what we think it is.” He says, begging her with his voice to believe him. In all the time they’ve known each other, this is the first time he’s begged her. Though he didn’t need to, [y/n] trusted Mobius with her whole being. Time and time again, she’s saved his ass and he hers. They were bonded in a way she didn’t know was humanly possible, she knew he wouldn’t lie to her. She felt it in her soul he was telling the truth.

“I believe you.” Her voice was soft, even in this terrifying moment, she still found a way to calm him with a gentle smile even as she was being held by the throat.

But that was all taken away when he saw the pointed end of the pruning stick going through her. A guttural roar that escaped him was animalistic, loud enough that surely the entirety of the TVA heard it. Her body was thrown to the ground by D-90, and it took every Minute Men in the room to hold Mobius back from Renslayer. That was it, his whole future ripped away from him right before his eyes, and he didn’t even get to tell her every secret feeling he held for her. No promises of the future they could have together without the TVA. There was nothing left.

He didn’t even hear Renslayer telling one of the Minute Men to prune him through his weeping, and before he knew it, a searing pain took over him.

[hughiecampbelle]

Parting Gift (Sam Wilson Oneshot)

Character/s: Sam

Word Count: 1,411

Tag List: @dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt @myriadimagines @lilyswritings @encounterthepast @writerdream22 @brithedemonspawn @megnotfound @ladyeliot @locke-writes @thedarkqueenofavalon @fangirlsarah16 @randomfandomimagine @amirahiddleston @diana-westmoon @valkyrie-2312

A/N: This was supposed to be fluffy, but the closest I can get to that is melancholy lol. The weathers been nice and it got me feeling nostalgic for summer. I hope this gives off that vibe, if that makes sense? Sam just seemed perfect for this and I kinda love this :) It doesn't exactly fit the timeline, but oh well :P There are only Endgame spoilers, none with TFATWS. I can't thank you enough for letting me rest with my health/writing and posting in general. I hope you like it! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💖💜

Summary: You finally got him back 💌

Gif Credit: @biwilson / link 💕

FIC MASTERLISTS 1 -> 3 /WANNA BE ADDED TO THE TAG LIST?

The low hum of the fan stirs in the quiet heat, restless, a lullaby you've grown used to since the season thawed. The snow puddles disappearing from the hot sidewalks, the grass growing green, the layers shedding around you until there is nothing but skin and the cool air that kisses it. It's old and shaky, the blades twisted, the fixture rattling, threatening to fall from the ceiling with every spin. Another chore you simply never got around to fixing, neglected much like the rest of the house. Like you, it was lucky it was still standing. The floors cried and creaked, needing to be replaced, but where was the time? The paint chipped, falling flake by flake, the shelves in need of dusting, the lawn grown too long, things were rusted, ruining, aging. Everything crooked, leaning, too heavy to stand on its own. One in the same, you and it, a reflection of your inner world, your inner turmoil, your grief defying, humanizing, materializing in rusted pipes, in thorny bushes, and weeds sprouting in the cracks of the sidewalks.

It was your dream. An escape. A slice of heaven he plucked from the skies. At least, that's how he'd described it. His hand, warm and calloused, over your eyes, letting your suspicions get the better of you, questioning like a child. What color was the door? How many windows? Was there a backyard? A steadiness in his voice you knew was not as solid as he showed, leading you past the street, past your new neighbors, the shade of the trees making your skin prickle. Up the path, you tried counting your own steps, anything to cheat the system. A leap of faith, you put so nicely. A house he passed by, one that struck him, caught his eye in a way nothing ever had. You? A house? Romanticized by the shoe box apartments the city had to offer, you never pictured any other life. Not out of opposition, but sheer innocence, a passive, thoughtless gesture you'd never recognized until the opportunity came along. Little convincing, it took. Somewhere far away from danger, from life, where you would always be safe together. That was enough. Always would be.

A fixer upper, that's what it was. Someone to care for in their old age, a long forgotten space only one with a heart of gold could fall for. Whether you were speaking of you, or the house, he'd never get the chance to ask. Where he saw the two of you, together, watching the rain pour from outside, comforted by a warm kitchen, a grand bedroom, nooks you could fill with hints of yourselves, you saw a slanted driveway, an unkempt garden, leaky ceilings and no hot water. He had hope. Dripped in honey,band hope, his voice sang through the thin walls, a symphony of ideas, of dreams for what it would one day be, taking you by the hand, leading you through. A maze of projects, big and small, things you'd add to a list of infinite length, your pen running out of ink long before you ever reached the bottom. For now, a coat of paint, a bucket or two for the leaks. He promised you, in the middle of an empty house, that it would one day be your home. You trusted him, because he was so sure of it, unlike anything else before.

You watched him sleep, the two of you facing one another. The sheets long discarded, too warm to even touch. You could follow the rise and fall of his back, the way in which he held the pillow to him, as if scared to let go. Tracing every line of him with your eyes, taking note of every single change, drinking him up every second you had together. The beads of sweat across his hairline. The upturn of his mouth, a whisper of a smile, as if caught in a sweet dream. The lines you see in yourself not yet reflected in him. Untouched by time. Five years could turn into a lifetime with the right kind of loneliness.

Plastic stuck to the furniture, bloated, sweaty, patiently waiting to be unwrapped. You couldn't bear to look at it, any of it, turning away from entire rooms, going only where it was necessary, using what you needed, not ready to face this place alone. It wasn't that first day, where your things, tightened by the city smog and lack of breathing room, were scattered wherever they might fit, left to expand in their new environment. The kitchen table in the living room. Chairs in the hallway. A couch discarded by the window, blocking the natural light. For the time being, he promised. Too many boxes to count, filled to the brim of glasses and mugs, wedding pictures and high school yearbooks, things you thought you needed, and things you knew you did. All of it wrapped in plastic, paper, t-shirts and towels. Whatever you could find to protect it. Sleeping on the floor those first few days, the mattress late, the frame even later, leaning on one another for that kind of comfort. It wasn't that first day, or week, but enough time to settle. The small things weren't yet opened. Two cups, to dishes, an endless waiting game for supplies to be shipped, of time to be found between work days and exhausted nights. He had a plan though, first the inside, then out. Sometimes there weren't enough plans, or lists, or schedules in the world to stop what would come next.

All of this, less than a month before The Blip.

Things hadn't changed since then, not without him. Five years you carved your path into the floorboards, avoiding everything that hurt like a landmine. His cup, his dish, his knife, and fork, and spoon, untouched. You would not look through your wedding album, or seep into the couch you bought together, or pluck the thorn riddled bushes like you pictured. His side of the bed empty, his clothes tucked away where you didn't have to see. All except one shirt taped up, turned away. His cologne fading from the collar, something out of your control, that made you want to scream. Everything these days, it seemed, was out of your control. Others, they moved on eventually. Started dating. Remarried. Found new friends, had more kids, picked up where they left off. Family reached out, teammates too, but you couldn't look at them. The anger, the sadness, all of it overwhelming. It left you drowning in questions no one had the answer to, everyone asking themselves the same thing: Why him, and not them? Why him, and not you? Why did any of this happen in the first place?

Isolating became the cure, and the corruption. The salt in the wound, a familiar sting you grew to expect, even want. A home for two, he promised, only now you were one. How cruel could the universe be? Hour by hour, day by day, you counted, carrying on for when he'd be back, because he would be. Sam, your Sam, too stubborn a man to give up like that. You would have dusted, washed the floors, made the place a little more welcoming if you'd known he'd be back when he did. Everyone came back, reappearing out of thin air, but where they felt frenzy, uncertain in explaining all that's happened, you were at peace, able to breathe again. Time had stopped when he was gone, your life paused. You could feel it, the moment when, the clocks in the house ticking once again inside their boxes.

Now, you lay together, as you had that first night. Not on the floor, not as naive as you were, but together none of the less. The sunlight strains, wanting to light up the room from behind the curtains. Even without it, you find yourself baking, wishing the fan would have a little more power. Sleeping in, you could have laughed. Five years he had, somewhere else, to rest, and yet you let him, not wanting to wake from what you fear might be a nightmare. If you woke up, and he was gone again, you weren't sure what you'd do, how much longer you could stand it. He assured you though, much like he had with this house, everything would work out in the end. That he was here, and he'd never leave you again.

Ever.

[oasis-of-you]

The Stars Dismantled

hi!!!! after months of sitting in my villainess cave and petting a cat in the most evil way possible i bring to you my brand new, shiny wip (and a title that i thought of five minutes ago)!!!! after endless research (aka scrolling through my mutuals’ wip intros for hours @alicewestwater @andiwriteunderthemoon @august-iswriting @estrella-writings​ i’m looking at y’all) i bring to you what my 8-year-old self would have killed to make.

genres: litfic (??), coming of age, kinda romance 

setting: late 1900s kolkata, india 

tone: detached, sometimes comforting, descriptive, warm, fuzzy, soft, dreamy

progress: nothing but extensive dreaming and aesthetic-making (oh and a prologue i’m not proud of)

pov: retrospective first, unreliable third

characters: 

adhira 

she/her

wlw

only child

loneliness is her bestie

imaginative

absentminded but anxious

self-denial

gentle

passionate

likes frogs and little lizards

musician

gaurangi and isaac (her parents):

highkey toxic

hate each other 

kinda emotionally abusive??

rarely present

Zahar (her friend)

he/him

aroace

depressed 

that one emotionally unavailable and traumatized and hardened but good at heart™ character

poet

(louella) sloane (love interest):

she/they

in between zahar and adhira in terms of emotional unavailability

painter

everything fresh and new and exciting

sarcastic

paranoid

themes: growing up, adolescence, “vague melancholy-and-yet-alrightness of childhood” (from @andiwriteunderthemoon), emotional neglect, learning your parents aren’t superheroes, learning you’re alone in this world, coming of age, wlw, loneliness, growing apart from your parents, growing up too fast, disappointment, betrayal, learning that not everything is black and white, learning to have different opinions than parents, emotional abuse

summary: (temporary)

adhira is a girl of too many dreams and emotions all in one. she is too many songs and not enough sleep, too loving. when she’s whisked away from the delusional walls her parents have built around her, she learns what it is to see the world without her parents’ distortion filter. she learns of its great sorrows and joys, its complexities and simplicities, its love and its hatred so seamlessly bonded together, they are one. she learns what it is to really, truly fall in love, to feel that warmth in your heart. but she also learns what it is to see things for herself, including the dark and the twisted. 

aesthetics: frogs, blue kite-filled skies, laying on the flat roof of your house, watching things that will traumatize you your whole life by peeking from a door frame, hearing quiet notes on a piano at midnight, stargazing, oh fuck it the playlist and pinterest board explains it better

pinterest great for learning about my character aesthetics lol

playlist nothing too fancy, not super specific either. if you think song fits the wip, tell me and i’ll probably agree and scream at you in all caps for having great music taste hehe

ask/dm/comment to be added to the taglist!!!

(none of the images are mine)

[chaotictommy]

Okay sooooooo I don’t know if this is good, lol, I have no clue about any of my own writing. But anyway, I finished my small Jimmy and Tommy oneshot, which, now reading through could be taken as them just being friends or if you want to dive down that rabbit hole, could be taken as more...

I don’t know... I have doubts about my own writing, so if it’s bad, I apologize XD

but here it is.....

fanfic warning: major character death... :(

A Little Piece of Home

The first time he finds Tommy wearing one of his sweaters, a blue grey one that was Jimmy’s dad’s, his friend is sitting back and eating a sandwich while crumbs hit the wool, Jimmy nearly gets annoyed at his friend, settling for a mix of confusion and hesitation, because his best friend has no care of other people’s possessions, is anything but gentle, and doesn’t think before he takes something that doesn’t belong to him, maybe it’s because they’re close, but Jimmy doesn’t notice him taking things from others like that. Maybe it’s because they are like brothers. It used to annoy the hell out of him. Now it leaves Jimmy smiling, a bittersweet smile tinged with a little melancholy, at the memory.

“You’ll ruin it,” “Says who?” It’s a teasing smirk, the one Tommy knows gets him every time, annoys him to no end, that one that makes him smile despite himself, the one that disconcerts him, because he doesn’t know if Tommy is serious or teasing, and Jimmy wants to dwell in certainties, it’s problematic without them, but his best friend lives on uncertainty and adrenaline alone, and pulls Jimmy into it too.

He fixes his glasses, squinting over them at Tommy before replacing them and giving a shrug “Just... just take it off before you ruin it... it’s cashmere...” he sees the look on his friend’s face and shrugs “No idea, some type of wool I think, anyway, it’s expensive and you’ll stretch it out,” he gets a remark, half sarcastic and half teasing him for liking sweaters that much, for not trusting him enough, he knows Tommy’s joking and he can’t help but smile and reply, even though he’s trying not to “Oh, I’m sorry but tell me again how I wasn’t the one guy who tried to flirt with a gal and got a milkshake in the face when her football player boyfriend walked back over? It stained your shirt Tommy, Let’s just face it man, you should come with a warning sign, a label of some sort, you’re a disaster zone, and I am definitely not letting you steal my clothes...” but it happens again because Tommy never gives up and it’d be a strange day if he ever stopped fighting about — basically everything.

The second time he just gives up. Obviously Tommy isn’t going to listen, or had forgot, Jimmy really hopes it is the latter, but he knows this is a battle he’s not going to win, and not sure he wants to fight, so he compromises, feeling somehow as if it’s a custody battle in a divorce, since they’re sharing time with the sweater, Jimmy getting it half the time with Tommy taking the rest. It should annoy him, and on the outside he pretends it does, but inside, it really doesn’t bother him at all, honestly, he’s happy that Tommy’s happy.

The third time he finds Tommy hoarding one of his sweaters, a tan one with light colors in the classic pattern, and he just laughs with annoyance, running a fry through mayonnaise as they sit down at their current meeting place (and honestly this is going to be a recurring thing for them, meeting at the Diner, the milkshakes are to die for, the meatloaf could be better, the burgers are great, and the service is lacking at times, but the booths have high walls, which is a added win for Jimmy, so Tommy can be a bit too loud, like he always is, because let’s face it, Tommy has no idea what an ‘inside voice’ is, Jimmy’s had to face that fact more times than he’d like to admit). Jimmy fixes his eyes on his friend and looks at him questioningly “I’ve been trying to find that sweater for months.” He frowns and shakes his head, sighing long and trying to make Tommy get that he is — not okay with this “Don’t you have your own? Don’t you have any clothes of your own?” His friend turns with a look, as if he’s been caught, usually looking like that even if he’s done nothing wrong at all, barely thinking before he answers “Yes, no, maybe, I like yours better,” Jimmy raises an eyebrow in confusion “What’s that even supposed to mean? You’re being too cryptic, I’m not up for riddles,” he laughs and cringes when his friend grabs for the ketchup, nearly spilling over the table and the sweater, his sweater, the sweater he’s been looking for for about a month now, just popping up right in front of him when he’s not thinking about it, now being worn by his best friend, one disaster away from being ruined. He’s seriously worried for the safety of that sweater. “You’re messy,” he says, hand instinctively tugging Tommy’s wrist away from over the mustard, pretending to be disgruntled “Honestly Tommy, you’re a complete mess of a person,” “But you still love me?” They both laugh till it hurts, and Tommy pays the bill. He tells Jimmy it’s because they’re brothers, because it feels like home wearing something that makes him think of family. Jimmy doesn’t get it. Later, he will.

He remembers giving him one of his favorite sweaters, wrapped up in leftover green wrapping paper (green was Tommy’s favorite color), a Grey sweater with a greenish blue argyle pattern, folded into it. It became a sweater Tommy couldn’t stop wearing and a present that Jimmy was proud to give, he values their friendship and everything that entails. Yeah, Tommy’s loud and kinda — crazy, crazy in the good sense of the word, and Jimmy’s quieter, locked in on his thoughts, calmer, like the sides of Ying and Yang, and it’s those complementing opposites that Jimmy wouldn’t change. They’re friends and sharing things is just what happens right? It earns Jimmy the comment that he ‘looks like a nerd now’ as Tommy pulls the sweater on, but they both know that it’s a great present that Tommy values.

Jimmy gets a couple of books, loving how thoughtful that gift was as well. He still has them, now his kids are reading from those same copies. It’s nice to remember that. Now that...

The time wore on and one after the other, he lost touch with Dutch, with Bobby, and with Johnny, but he somehow managed to keep Tommy, to stay friends even though miles separated them, college, family. He was there from the start and to the very end. Tommy was his best man at his wedding, when he was so nervous that Tommy had to talk him back from complete panic, his ever present fears of being inadequate, not enough. Tommy had been there, and Jimmy had been there throughout Tommy’s struggle, he’d been the second to know when fighting wasn’t an option anymore... they’d tried to make peace with it, but nobody ever tells you how hard it would be...

When Tommy died, everything felt disjointed, disconnected, everything stopped then and there as the paramedics rushed by, knowing it was over even though his brain was screaming it wasn’t true. THAT IT COULDN’T BE TRUE. But it was. But nothing seemed to make any sense anymore. Nothing fit.

The breaths he took then seemed foreign as if Tommy had taken everything, even the breath in his lungs, with him, the breaths were strangled and meek, mixed with pain, he had been ready for it, yes, but nobody was ever prepared, not even when they said they were. Jimmy knew that now.

Now, going through Tommy’s things, in his empty home, his hand brushed against something in the bottom of the box. It was soft, even though years had passed, worn at the edges and the elbows, from Tommy always leaning on them, into his friend’s personal space, talking way too close in excited tones, appreciative, teasing. Jimmy knew what it was before he saw it, and the fresh wave of tears hit him, mixed emotions in them now, the lingering sadness and joy, relief somehow there as well. He hadn’t cried that much in front of Johnny, neither had he cried much in front of Bobby, they had felt like strangers somehow... now he felt himself breaking down. The tears were long overdue.

So he sat there, with a sweater and a lot of memories.

Other people would see a worn sweater that has seen better days, just like the brunette man now holding it, but to Jimmy, this sweater is much more than a bunch of knotted yarn, a castoff to some thrift store because of the wear and tear

It’s the sweater his best friend wore when he needed to keep warm during the colder months, or when they went camping, the one he’d hardly take off because Jimmy had gifted it to him, and he said that it meant everything, the one that wrapped Jimmy in tight hugs he’d pretend to struggle out from, pretending to dislike them, but secretly loving them. It was something that would always remind him of Tommy.

It was a little piece of home. Something now missing from his life, having gone suddenly with his friend.

He’d always have Tommy with him even though he wasn’t there anymore

They’ll always be best friends. Nothing will ever change it.

It’s only a sweater, but to him, it’s a part of home, as much so as the the family he’s made, the house he lives in now, and Tommy, who left a heart shaped hole when he — left.

It’s something that reminds him of every moment with his best friend. That’s all he has now, those moments. He knows someday he’ll forget the playful smirk, the annoying laugh that was both and infectious.

But for now he has those moments and something, however insignificant it is to others, to remind him of the better times.

And that’s everything.

Author’s note: Okay, so the sweater that Jimmy gifted to Tommy is the one you can see him wearing in the first scene of TKK2

It’s grey and has a greenish blue argyle pattern.

the books Tommy gave Jimmy were:

The Outsiders (I always connect the Cobras to the book lol)

Fahrenheit 451

1984

and

A collection of Sci-fi stories by Ray Bradbury

Because I think Jimmy would love Sci-fi

I truly hoped you liked the story and if it was terrible lol, again my apologies

[lunasilvermorny]

Festival Fun SQ - Part 2 - where we find out MC has a secret admirer... Great.

What the hell are you talking about, Puppy?

Apparently, like Barnaby’s favorite trainers.

We need to do something about your BO then, mate.

I’m not smiling... you’re smiling!

It was a good burn, alright? I can appreciate it.

Also, big words from someone that failed everything she’s ever tried to accomplish. Well, guess it takes one to know one.

Very specific...

Luna: What about bananas?

Barnaby: Don’t even say that!

Oof, your insecurity is showing, Merula.

I was going to say “valid” until I got to the “melancholy” part and then I choked!

Such a mood.

Lol, Puppy, read the room.

What about subtlety in general as a concept?

Because this whole game is lacking in that department,

Haha, he looks so done with Snape’s shit.

Just let him be happy!

I know it’s supposed to be the moment he puts her on the spot, but in the headcanon she always knows all the answers, so it’s actually very fitting for her.

Too bad it’s still putting me on the spot...

Psssshhh! Please, you think I don’t know this? Easy!

The answer is obviously... the... it’s so clearly the... hmmm... just a sec.

*check on google*

Yes, I totally knew that.

It’s hard to have an MC that is the top student in her class, alright?

I’m trying to be loyal to the headcanon here.

Oh please, let’s see you answer a question correctly then.

Oh wow, I didn’t expect him to actually put her on the spot.

Come on, let’s hear it, hot-shot.

Rejected!

Easy peasy lemon squeezy, mate!

*Google*

Do you hear that?

That’s the sound of Merula failing again.

I almost feel sorry for her... Almost.

Luna: Who wouldn’t know something so basic?

Merula: Shut it, Silver.

Luna: Oh, right. You.

Girl. just take the L and leave, you’re holding the line.

EASY!

Oh, Puppy... lol

At least he’s happy.

Oh Jesus, they’re really making me work for it.

Guess? It wasn’t a guess!

I actually had to look for the ingredients of all these potions.

It was very deliberate and MC should get the proper credit.

Top-student status - preserved!

The thing is... I actually believe her.

Isn’t Merula supposed to be really good with potions in general?

I can totally see why her insecurity sabotaged her ability to give the proper answer. Too bad her attitude is so lousy, otherwise I would have sympathized with her.

Guess!

I’m telling you, Barnaby knows more than he lets people see...

You’re 100% right, Puppy.

Honestly, they’re writing MC to be so stupid, I kinda see why Merula would get frustrated by being upstaged by her.

You mean the unpopular bully that literally no other student likes?

I’m shocked.

Color you lucky, then.

Awww, so cute.

It’s so obvious I’m going to choose him again. The only person I would have chosen over him is Liz. (Well, also Rath, but they never include anyone from the Quidditch plot-line, so...)

How the hell did you manage to see her name is written there?

You were like 4 meters away from it.

���Your gobs”?!

Sounds like an innuendo and not one that’s a fitting description of a cis-woman.

What the hell are her gobs? Do I even want to know? I don’t get the metapho- Ohhhhhh....So it’s from Barnaby.

Right? He knew it was intended for her and the metaphor is completely nonsensical. It has to be from him.

It’s him, I’m 100% sure.

It’s one of those things that I don’t know how to react to, but I wanted to include it anyway...

So... All I can offer is a small shrug with a slight head tilt.

I don’t like his expression... He doesn’t look scared enough.

Begone, year-6 Ben!

This blog accepts only the sweet scardy-cat that we all know and love.

I mean... it is kinda flattering, even though Luna in the headcanon wouldn’t really pay attention to it. She ignores when other people show interest in her, because she’s too focused on her own feelings toward her crushes.

Yep, that’s Luna for you. Always the active party.

Can you hear the collective sigh of despair of all the Charlie x MC shippers?

Creepy?! That’s not what Ben would say in a situation like this! I hate it that they’re forcing year-6 Ben on everyone! Dammit, can’t you even try to be consistent, JC? It’s your freaking game!

Nope. I don’t care. I don’t like it... I’m skipping this part, I refuse to endure this horrible attempt at character development as a part of their dumb year-6 plot.

Next.

Haha, that’s what happens when Jae doesn’t skip class.

Luna: Sure thing, mate.

-----

I actually had to skip all the dialogue with Ben, because it got on my nerves.

Oh well.

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 8: Mountain Lion Mean Notes

Okay, so I was writing up notes on my Troped Western fic and then I clicked something and it all disappeared! I’m very upset and I hate the idea of starting again but like... I guess that’s what I gotta do :/

Mountain Lion Mean on AO3.

Written for @troped-fanfic-challenge​

So as I said in my notes, I watched Hell or High Water on the Sunday the trope document opened and immediately became obsessed, and that was my main inspiration. I saw it and loved it and, like with most things I love, my first thought was how can I do this too?? I didn’t want to do a straight AU of it, because it’s just too good and I don’t want to mess with that kind of perfection, but I knew I wanted a similar mood. I also figured pretty early on that I would try to include a bank robbery.

For the first days after the trope doc opened, I mostly just gathered inspiration and tried to think Western thoughts. In addition to HOHW, my inspiration included:

The Western episode of Charmed

A Western Rock playlist I found on Spotify

This post of southwestern gothic aesthetics

“Ranch Girl” by Maile Meloy (also the inspiration for it is new moon and twilight, which, fun fact, was originally going to be a Western; I didn’t re-read the story but it’s been haunting me since I first read it c. 2001 and is probably a partial inspiration for everything I write)

William Faulkner (especially “A Rose for Emily” and A Light in August) for the “town POV” narration

Sigrid Undset for the floating third-person-POV

The wikipedia article on Westerns, for succinct summaries of the themes of Westerns

The original aesthetic, quoted from my notes: “The vastness of the west, the frontier, a little uncivilized, a little dangerous, tough looking men who don’t talk much, extrajudicial justice, the heat and the desert…“

By the time I sat down to brainstorm, I had a few ideas and a few images already in mind. I wanted to include a bank robbery. I liked the idea of Clarke as a gunslinger and/or purveyor of vigilante justice. I thought I might use Gina as a bartender (this was during the half-moment I thought I might write a Bartender Mechanic fic; obviously neither of these things happened). And I liked the idea of including Murphy as some kinda criminal or unsavory type. The image of Bellamy as a taciturn cowboy came fairly early too.

I was a little uncertain at first if I wanted to do an 1800s western or a neo-western, mostly because I felt like the tropes I was attracted to and the images in my head fit better in the 1800s. But ultimately I settled on neo-western pretty fast, because I thought the imagery and themes would work better in the modern day. Plus I just thought it would be easier tbqh.

My first concern was to not just re-write a shittier HOHW. I was really caught up in the logistics of the bank robbery; including too much of that would necessarily make it a copy of the film, so I tried to keep just the bare bones of the robbery + the general justification (saving the family land). Then I added additional portions of the scheme--not too difficult since I knew I wanted Gunslinger/Vigilante Clarke in there, and I needed some way to show that she takes Justice into her own hands--and additional characters. Again, most notably Clarke, but also Raven and Octavia. The characters have their own backgrounds, personalities, relationships, and motivations, all of which make the story more mine imo. I’m satisfied with the balance of Obvious HOHW Influences and original content.

At some point, I described it to my mom as “Bellamy is Toby, Murphy is Tanner, and Clarke is canon Clarke but in the modern West.” Which I still think is accurate.

Including Clarke, though, and privileging the various relationships among the trio of Bellamy, Clarke, and Murphy, made me feel like I was making an it is new moon and twilight knock off except with Clarke for Raven. I still kind of see it, tbh, in the sense that twilight was itself supposed to be a western--I think it would be fair to say that Mountain Lion Mean IS the fic I set out to write in February 2020--and in the sense that I could have written a different story in the same universe as Mountain Lion Mean that explored the Clarke, Murphy, and Bellamy relationships in a way that is similar to twilight. As is, a lot of that is unsaid and unseen. The two fics have different focuses, so it’s probably only apparent to me just how similar they are. Just like, to me, Mad Women and The Wanheda Tape are the same story even though they have very different aesthetics and plots.

Some excerpts from my notes that I think are fun:

I really want to work with the themes (haha themes) of frontier justice and also the sense that the west is infinite but also small, that nature is hard and impossible to wrangle but that the opportunities are narrow and it’s easy to get trapped in it, the melancholy nature of it, the dichotomy of nature (huge, powerful) versus man (small, struggling against nature and against man). Or some such. Or Murphy just robs banks.

Bellamy owns a struggling ranch. Clarke is a gunslinger (don’t really know if I can use this trope in the current day but possibly?) who doesn’t trust the law. Has a conceal[ed]-carry permit. Is the best shot in three counties. Murphy’s been in and out of prison most of his adult life, mostly for crimes like robbery and assault.

How do they know each other? Possibilities: Murphy knows Bellamy through Octavia (idk why…but I do feel like O should appear, riding a horse) (background Octaven? Just a thought), Bellarke are exes, Murphy used to work on the ranch. Clarke has killed someone (someone Bad) and gotten away with it.

I do like the focus being on these three characters, who have a long history but aren’t currently close, coming together for a mission (to rob a bank) for the benefit of one who is struggling (Bellamy) even thought this is an awful lot like both Hell or High Water and it is new moon and twilight lmao.

I like that mood from HOHW where actually Toby was the most dangerous, and the smartest, and he won—the idea that Bellamy is the taciturn cowboy who’s not good at sharing his feelings but he’s also the mastermind in the end. Is that the twist? You get the impression Vigilante Gunslinger Griffin and Actual Ex-Con Murphy are planning something, but then it turns out to be Bellamy who executes the plan? [Not quite how it turned out lol in that I think it’s decently obvious that Bellamy was a major part of it the whole time but I did try to get some of this in with Octavia in the final scene--to really drive home Bellamy’s importance, as the ring leader, since otherwise one could ask, what does he even do?]

Midway through the planning process I came up with some more images to work from:

B and C out at dusk on the ranch, she’s shooting can, a bit of UST perhaps

M shows up at the bar and there’s an awkward silent entrance—perhaps he’s just out of prison

Murphy or Clarke guns akimbo [I picked Clarke to emphasize that she’s the gunslinger, but I had Murphy shoot out the security cameras to show that they were using his robbery experience]

Bellamy being silent and awkward

At this point, it was just about putting all the pieces together. That’s how I tend to plan Troped fics: I lay out all the pieces I need or want to include and then I figure out the shortest and most efficient distances between them. For example, I knew I needed a bank robbery and for Clarke to administer some vigilante justice--so I use that justice as a way to launder the money. They fake a will for her victim and “give” the money to themselves.

I did worry, and still worry, about the timeline re: the Bellarke marriage and the will because I’m quite sure it doesn’t make sense and doesn’t work. But it also... it doesn’t keep me up at night because the whole point is that it’s a scam!! Worrying about legality in a scam is sorta... lol. What I mean specifically is that I wanted it to be clear that Clarke does not kill Kane FOR this scheme. They use something she already did to their advantage. So she and Bellamy can’t be married at the time Kane is killed. That implies the murder was pre-meditated for the bank robbing purpose. But I’m also fairly sure (and I should know this because I took T&E but like...honestly can’t remember) that the people in the will are counted at the time of death, not the time of probate, or you could like... adopt extra kids or marry or divorce someone to affect the will. Plus all that stuff about simultaneous death etc. etc. Also, on a practical level, if Clarke wasn’t married, Kane wouldn’t have an obvious reason to write her spouse into the will. But I get away with this in my head by saying, first, no one’s going to say the husband that’s standing right there doesn’t count as a husband--the law is the law but it’s implemented by people and they fudge corners all the time. They do what seems to make sense even if you’d lose points for it on a law school exam. And second, the will could have been written with the assumption or hope that Clare would marry. Possibly even, though I don’t say this in the fic exactly, on the condition of marriage--Clarke gets 100% to share 50-50 with her husband if she’s married, 0% if she’s not. Doesn’t really matter. It’s supposed to read as outwardly clever and create Mystery and play with the Exes Aesthetic even if it doesn’t hold up the strictest scrutiny. (JDs don’t @ me.)

I justified including the marriage as a necessity because Kane could possibly leave money to Clarke’s husband but he wouldn’t leave money to some rando. I do stand by that part.

I also decided at some point that I wanted to include Background Octaven but be really subtle about it so it was something else the reader would have to piece together: that Raven has a girlfriend, then that Octavia has a girlfriend but, hey, isn’t Raven a bartender?--and then it comes together in the last scene as we see that their relationship was factored into Bellamy’s plan all along: some of the loot goes directly to Octavia and her partner, officially as payment for Raven’s services, unofficially because Bellamy wants to give O a gift. Anyway. Either it was too obvious or too subtle/boring because no one mentioned it but I thought it was cool lol.

At this point in my planning I basically had everything I needed, so I wrote a quick outline of scenes, as I always do, to see how it would flow scene to scene and if I had a place to put all the necessary plot info. I also ended up doing “what I need from this scene” lists for each scene so that I knew what I had to have on my mind to include before I sat down to write each one.

The actual writing was done over 3 days and fairly easily and quickly. I had a lot of fun not just with planning but with the actual process of creation. I think it’s because I was just honestly excited to be in this universe and play with this aesthetic.

Not to blow my own horn here but some parts that I was particularly pleased with were:

“Arkadia hasn’t seen a drop of rain in thirty-two days. The asphalt on the highway shimmers with heat; the air crackles with heat; the heat rises, stifling and strong, from the parched dirt and the cracks in the pavement.” Like I’m sorry but that’s a good image, I like that a lot. Whenever I felt discouraged, I just read that again and felt better.

The description of past Bellarke because boy howdy do I not care to write romance anymore but that was fun. I thought it was hot.

Transitioning Murphy laughing until the coyotes can hear into Bellamy hearing coyotes at night into Bellamy still hearing them during the day. I don’t know if it worked quite like I wanted to but in my head that is a very Cinematic transition, okay? I also like that even though Clarke and Murphy aren’t literally riding off together in that scene, for the reader, they are leaving the narrative never to be seen again. So they get their Dramatic Exit.

Octavia’s explication of the Theme and Bellamy’s possible motivations. I’m pretty proud of myself for actually having a theme and I think I did a good job of explaining it without being too heavy-handed. I also think it was perhaps risky to end with the POV of Octavia, a character who’s barely been in the fic before the last scene, but ultimately that decision felt right to me and I think it had a good flow, a nice mellow exit from the narrative.

What I didn’t like as much was a lot of the first scene. I think it has some great bits but it was the most re-worked part of the fic, and there are still some paragraphs and phrases that I feel are a little stiff. For example, this is a paragraph that I cut entirely:

Diyoza was sure the Griffin daughter did the deed back in January and she's sure about it still. She even gives a quote to the Sun-Times about it, despite her troubles with Green. But she had no proof then, not even a body to justify a murder charge, and she has little proof now. So no one believes the investigation will come to anything.

As you can see, it gives no new information. There were other sentences and phrases that weren’t doing work but were interrupting the flow, which also got cut, but I’m still not sure that the flow is perfect in the final version.

Also displeased that I edited out a * from the version on AO3, thus letting two scenes run together. How embarrassing!!! It’s fixed now though.

Overall though I’m so pleased! I love this fic and I love that I can love things again. This year has already been so hard, just like being battered again and again by waves of a storm, and it’s only 5 weeks in but this experience was so unabashedly good and I’m so grateful for it.

[littlehollyleaf]

DOCTOR WHO !

There is... a lot to process and I'm too tired now since I ended up watching super late, so... I'll be back later...

But, just quick - I spent a long time really wanting the Doc to ask The Master WHY they were back to just being villainous when Missy got so close to rehabilitation (well, ok, not CLOSE, lol, but...). It's not that I think it was OOC or a character regression or anything, Missy never got SO far that she actually moved beyond villainy (imo). It's just that... I feel like some kind of reaction from the Doc beyond simple acceptance of the return to their archenemy status quo would have been fitting - like a brief show of disappointment or something? ...basically guess I'm kinda frustrated there wasn't a line or two at least referencing their last moments together, even if it was just a classic 'so you escaped/survived I see.'

THEN I was VERY ANGRY to hear Gallifrey had been destroyed AGAIN after we JUST GOT IT AND THE TIME LORDS BACK because I love it and them being a presence in the Doctor's world to an irrational extent :p

But but but but... then that final message and the (FINAL!) return to the 'timeless child' mystery... is maybe making everything work after all for me?? Like, it def has potential to explain the WHY of the Master's behaviour post-missy (recent anon - I know technically there's been nothing to contest your theory that this could be a pre-missy regeneration but... I'm going ahead and assuming not, because I think if that were true it would have been revealed in this episode) ie. whatever the Master discovered re: timeless child clearly caused some deep emotional trauma (!) and as a consequence I think it would make all the sense they'd just fall right back into a 'let's just fuck shit up and enjoy watching the universe burn and tormenting the Doctor' mentality to cope... also... adds to certain parts of the performance I was previously unsure/confused of... cos there were times I felt maybe the actor wasn't QUITE nailing the part, like it felt like he wasn't being, oh, gleeful/happy enough about stuff, or, when he was acting gleeful it felt kinda FORCED? Like his heart wasn't really in it. Only now that feels less like subpar acting and more DELIBERATE - an intentional melancholy because of this timeless child business (also explaining the times it looked like the Master had wet/teary eyes when talking to The Doctor, which ABSOLUTELY BAFFLED me at the time)... plus, if we are going to be exploring a Gallifrey mystery, then that means there are episodes involving more of the Time Lords and Time Lord history/mythology/continuity GUARANTEED! WHICH IS FANTASTIC! :D

Meaning... overall I think perhaps I'm delighted with everything?!

(and the Doc not acknowledging their last encounter(s) with Missy might not be as big an issue as I was making it to myself - they never saw Missy make the decision to stand with them after all, so jumping right back to the typical, eon-long cat and mouse dynamic is really, from the Doctor's POV just... more of the same? Meaning it's probably only natural they would fall back into the pattern of just fighting the Master without question... plus the narrative didn't give the Doc much of a chance to stop and interrogate the Master, he was constantly throwing so much at her arguably all she had time to do was focus on how to stay alive and twart each new threat he presented... WHICH works for Master characterisation - he didn't want her to start exploring his emotions/motivations, he just wanted the distraction/simplicity/comfort of their familiar old school high stakes 'game')

But we'll see how I feel once I've analysed everything some more...

OH and talking of continuity - I was already over the moon at the return of the TCE (I've been wanting it back in the show for YEARS), but then I got all giddy over the Doc using the verbal 'contact' to telepathically connect aND I LITERALLY SAID OUT LOUD 'OLD SCHOOL' in my delight, only to then have the Master SAY EXACTLY THE SAME IMMEDIATELY AFTER, which was... well it just felt fun to me ok?? :p

......aaaaand look at that I've written down my thoughts anyway, whoops

Go to bed Holly you fool

[ralfstrashcan]

3x22 Reaction / Commentary

Fair warning: Despite all feelings of nostalgia and melancholy with this being the last episode and all, this contains the usual amount of salt. Just, consider yourself warned XD

Impressive. Quick question though, why didn't Lilith pull this neat trick before going to Magnus and begging for an opening in the rift? We'll never know. Possibly because she's dumb.

Why would he give away his element of surprise with that stupid roar? Wtf man.

Istg if they kill Meliorn off just after I fell in love with him last episode imma riot so hard. Wtf.

1) Jeliorn Shipper: It's not actually clear who he's addressing XD 2) Am I the only one who feels like Meliorn's feelings for Izzy skyrocketed after they broke off their little mutually beneficial arrangement?? Because I sure do. Very convenient for the plot too.

This is both hilarious and infuriating XD

Boo Team Warlock. They can see that Meliorn is lying on the ground, obviously wounded, and all they do is stand around. Why do they all suck at first aid?? I mean, man down! What more do you need to know wtf.

Also what is that? Lorenzo actually being helpful? Wtf haha. Btw I made up my mind, he's lost bits of his character along the way. I don't like it. He's suddenly supposed to be a good lizard baby? Sure. *scoff*

I like that bit where Lorenzo and Magnus pool magic for a more effective attack but I'm doubtful they're perfectly synchronized since they never fought together. Or is this like a standard warlock fight maneuver? Are those a thing? I need answers.

Lilith shooting her fancy fire spit ball five meters to the left is both an overused cliché and ridiculous.

THIS is their plan of attack? They're all gonna die haha.

Script: Close up of female shoes with heels so everyone knows this is a woman.

RIDICULOUS

So did I understand that correctly? Lilith flew right into the line of literal fire? Whyyyy?

RIDICULOUS PLASTIC EYE IS RIDICULOUS

Wtf why isn't Lorenzo loudly objecting??

That circle reminds me of Guardians of the Galaxy in the worst way. Wow. I can't believe I just watched this. Wtf this was so bad *weeping* Btw note, considerate CGI flames only burn on torso and arms not on legs. Riiiight.

...................................................................what.

I mean, yay. All shadowhunters are jobless now. Guess all problems are solved. We just have an entire (slightly racist) race on our hands that's out of an occupation and also, militry. Those things don't mix well. Wtf. I cannot. comprehend. Wtf.

Also wtf. This was supposed to be the boss fight. And they finished it without a plan with one player literally before the opening?? UHHHH???

But, anyway. I guess I should be glad Alec didn't have to make good on his promise of living in Edom with Magnus, because as @intezaarlily so hilariously pointed out

The Alliance rune was temporary and wore off in like 5 hours, and Nephilim can’t survive in Edom because of their blood once the rune wears off, but Alec says he’ll spend the rest of his life with Magnus in Edom … I mean, I love the romantic sentiment! But that will be a very short life.

XD XD XD

Uhhhh yeah, the fact that Sizzy get a sex scene (ugh, could have done without that honestly) Clace get cute cuddling and Malec get................ lying five feet apart even though THEY ARE LEGIT A MARRIED COUPLE WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Honestly, I mostly skirt the negativity that surrounds the issue of how Malec always get shitty kisses and intimacy etc. But this is ridiculous. RI-DIC-U-LOUS. At this point, who knows if they'll even kiss at their wedding? We'll be lucky if they hold hands. Honestly. WTF.

Yeah agree to disagree. I'm not even sorry for my extra salt. Wtf. Still hung up on Malec. At least Izzy's runes glitter prettily in the morning light.

“I mean like relationships. Everyone that I've been in has magnificently imploded like the Death Star.”

SIGH. This is clearly not true. He stayed good friends with his exes (Clary, Maia) so that's a lie. And Saia was working out really well until the series needed it to stop, so it's not like he's inept. So either he's exaggerating because he's hella unreflected or he says that to get some pity from Izzy, either way I hate it.

Uuhhhh Izzy, you were never interested in having a relationship. That's not the same as screwing up a relationship wtf.

...............Does the show want to tell me Magnus is left-handed or what. Wow.

I

hadn't

noticed.

I guess Canon wants to use this last opportunity to tell us that Magnus is ambidextrous *shrug*

Also why the hell did Lorenzo give them back the loft? Oh right, he's a Good Lizard Baby now. The heck.

Anyway I did a very thorough reaction to this sneak peek scene already for a private correspondence, so enjoy ahaha ;)

- Me being deprived of Malec Morning Cuddles (and LittleSpoon!Alec) is unfair and I'm Not Over It.

+ Magnus excitedly writing their wedding invitation though <3<3<3

- Cheek kiss wtf man where are my REAL morning smooches WTF

+ CHEEK KISS SO CUTE OMG MAGNUS'S FACCEEEEEEEE I CANNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

+ MAGNUS'S FRAKKING FACE WHEN HE GIVES ALEC THE INVITATION SCRIPT THINGY, RAISED EYE BROW AND THAT LIP THING HE DOES, LIKE IN THE TRAINING SCENE HAHAHAHA I LOVE

+ MAGNUS'S FACE AS ALEC READS THE INVITATION OUTTTT

+ A L E C S  FACE AT “TONIGHT” LIKE OMG HE LOOKS LIKE HE JUST HAD A LOBOTOMY HAHAHAHAHA I CANNOT

~ Okay I am conflicted about this. While I can buy both, Magnus wanting to move ahead and Alec wanting to plan (because I think it fits them both in terms of being in character) in this particular matter I kinda headcanon the reverse: Alec not able to wait another minute to Lock Magnus Down and Magnus wanting everything to be absolutely perfect and losing himself in planning.

That being said, Magus being like “Gotta get married while we still can and there's not a disaster on the horizon” is.... idk, isn't that kind of sad? He's all about cherishing things in life so you can remember them. And stumbling through his MARRIAGE, with must mean a real real lot to him, being his first in all his 400/800 years, that's... not really uplifting? He deserves better than that.

+ Magnus's clap tho at “location” XD XD XD

+ ALEC'S FACE AT TAJ MAHAL HAHAHA HIS FROWNY MOUTH

~ Quick question, how the hell does Magnus want to hold a whole ass marriage ceremony at a public mundane place?? With glamor? Without? Sounds like an unrealistic mess either way

+ “THE INSTITUTE” I CAN'T MAGNUS AND ALEC KILL IT BOTH WITH THIS WTF HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CANT

- Alec's reasoning. Honestly, I don't like it that much. Don't get me wrong, Alec being aware of the political dimension and liking it is 100% ic. But. This is their wedding. Their. Wedding. They do everything else for others, for their people and for the mundanes and the frikking world as a whole (3x20 being a prime example, basically screwing their personal happines to hell and back (pun intended) to close the rift saved the world because those wraiths wouldn't have stopped after Alicante let's be real). And their wedding, this should be just for them. How they like it, how they envision and how they've always dreamed about it. It shouldn't be held so others can benefit from it.

I want the wedding to be at the Instutite. In my mind no other venue even comes into question. But I would have loved if the motivation was differently nuanced. If Alec would have said that he's imagined it there, because yeah, Magnus's loft is his home and his heart, but the Institute must hold sentimental value for him, too. He grew up there. It's basically all he's known his whole life up to like three months ago. It's the embodiment of him being a shadowhunter and he loves being a shadowhunter, it's his identity. And Alec is a traditional guy. He wants his classical shadowhunter wedding and those are held at an Institute. He must have envisioned this after he started dating Magnus: exchanging vows in a ceremony held by a silent brother and with their wedding jewelry, in the chapel of the Institute, simply because this is the only marriage proceedure he's ever known.

Pissing off the clave, or rather, having the clave begrudingly accept him with his true self presented to the world should be a welcome byproduct, but not the main motivation.

From Magnus I would buy this line of reasoning sooner than from Alec because Magnus has hated the clave and its injustice since forever, has suffered far harsher under them than Alec, so he has a lot more personal interest to stick it to the clave than Alec, who, sorry, literally discovered their falseness three months ago. But then again, I don't think thoughts like that would be on the forefront of Magnus's mind and so it makes sense Alec would be the one to bring up this aspect. I just don't like how it was nuanced.

In any case, rewatching that scene I'm amazed at the amount of time Alec flounders before catching Magnus's attention, it's hilarious to watch XD

+ MAGNUS'S CONSIDERING POUT THOUGH WTF MAN WHO ALLOWED THIS

Another missing scene waiting to be written, of Magnus wearing a tux around Alec (and Alec drooling over him lol).

“It's just... all these hundreds of years... I can't believe you've never been married.”

Yeah, dito. How about you expand a little more on your personal stance on marriage, Magnus?? It's for science.

NOT ANYMORE APPARENTLY WTF CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE PLEASE

1) Wow this was quick 2) Uh-huh, guess that's why they mentioned them before this episode, oh, never.

1) Then ralf would quit watching this show and who would make dumb comics then? 2) Lol I guess her poor ex warlock boy toy got dumped

HAHAHAHA THE WAY HE DELIVERS THAT LINE I CAN'T XD XD XD

TMI bro

Good. At least he's not completely delusional then.

Gal you said “focus” like once, that's not a lesson wtf.

Yeah, creepy creepy feelings.

But this is actually interesting since she can't lie, and she says in no uncertain terms that she wants to split her power with him, or at least the rule over earth. Buf if she's so afraid of him she even wants to rule beside him and relinquish part of her might, then I don't get why she didn't just kill him off when he was in his cocoon. Why risk making an enemy of him? Makes no sense. (Except that this would have been anticlimactic lol.) Also my question of what happened to Lucifer still stands.

Uhhhh apparently they just slept together, turning into a child is majorly creepy wtf dude. Also, where does her changed wardrobe come from? Absorbing clothes during a transformation is a skill werewolves would pay real money for, I can tell you. Market niche. Patent while you still can.

..................really? *sigh*

#vulnerability #abandonment issues #give jace wayland (or whatever you want to call him) a hug dammit

Finally, happy parabatai. What a sight for sore eyes.

Biting back more Sizzy salt, wow I'm impressed at myself.

HOW ABOUT YOU BOTH FRAKKING SAY THAT ABOUT MAGNUS WTF

(Btw the German Dubbing: “I was just thinking of asking you that!” lol as if the thought had crossed Izzy's mind in that exact second, making that whole thing even more ridiculous.)

Anyway.

“You know, I always thought I never needed a parabatai, that I was at my best when I was on my own.”

No that was because you disliked the weird codependency it produces. And it's fine if you change your mind on that and decide that the benefits outweight that, but please don't do it offscreen during an action screen but like, throughout a whole season? Consider sharing a thought or two about that fundamental change in your world view with the audience? Otherwise people (me) can just laugh their ass of at how ridiculous and ooc this is. Wtf. WtF. Then again she literally changed her stance on relationships in like a week and her stance on Simon in half a day, so I guess it's kind of consistent?? *snort*

There's a joke about missing hair in here somewhere. These poor, poor men. They were ROBBED. (And so were we XD)

Since when can Clary order around the Head of Security?? (Also look at her manic face in this shot ahahaha. Was that deliberate on my part?? You can't prove a thing!!)

Also Luke missing Alec's wedding again is history repeating itself.

IMMORTALITY RUNE ON THE RUN!! EVERYBODY DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND CATCH IT!!!

Clary, gal, if you keep slinking after the rune like that you'll never catch it. Srsly. And you wonder why you lose track of it all the time? Move your butt, man!!!

WOW GREATEST DISAPPOINTMENT EVER. Can I skip this scene? Please?

Wow that was less painful than expected

Oh damn I knew this was too easy.

Btw apparently they have styling opportunities wherever Jocelyn's soul went after her death, because the clothes she wore when she went west

and the ones she's wearing now are similar, but decidedly not the same.

“Btw we'll talk about that creepy ass behavior later, and no supper for you tonight young lady!!”

Uh-huh, and what, pray tell, is Jocelyn? A zombie?? Just wondering.

These so-called “angels” are racists and you can quote me on that.

HAHAHA YEAH EXACTLY, SO RIDICULOUS AMIRIGHT

I mean. “Never draw another new rune or we'll take away your ability to create runes” basically translates to me “You have one last shot.” Right?

(Premonition!Ralf: ..........................you know nothing, Past Ralf.)

HAHAHAH SO FRAKKIN EXTRA I LOVE HIM

I think the white one is the prettiest <3<3<3 And now I wanna eat cake. Dammit.

LISTEN I KNOW HE SAYS THAT TO BE SASSY BUT!!!!! WHAT WAS MAGNUS GONNA EAT FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY???? ROASTED SHAX DEMON DRUMSTICKS??????? I NEED ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!!!

This “beauty” clearly is from his mansion, so he obviously only says this to gloat. What a tool. Or is this like, a different size? And he has the same three pictures of himself plastered over all his homes, but in different sizes??

LOL this feels like splitting household goods with an ex. And they didn't even date (uagh the mental image *shudder*)

Mostly for each other, but continue.

Also, is this Lorenzo's formal request to be adopted into that weird ass Protagonist!Family? Because loooool the position of sassy shady uncle is still vacant. I'm sure Peter Hale will teach him some tricks.

Don't get me wrong, I like the scene itself but...... what happend to the evil lizard baby? It seems that just like Maryse he got a character makeover between one scene and the next. This change of heart comes out of frakkin nowhere. He goes from “good riddance magnus i hate your guts” to “pls love me” in literally half a day. And I don't like that. Wtf.

Also, another thing: Why do they always imply warlocks are completely unable to find a lasting relationship / family / even some level of happiness that isn't “sitting in my plush villa and drinking overpriced alcohol”? As if all warlocks are inapt. Tf.

I mean, he's been showing that through absence, but I guess that's more because of the same reasons that persistently keep Catarina from showing her face than him actually not caring about his kids, there's no real grounds for this level of desinterest in Show!Robert's character. But anyway, I like the sentiment, that conflicts between the parents don't necessarily inevitably destroy the relationships between one parent and the children. And Maryse was always good at compartmentalizing things, so this is very fitting.

Wow I had really hoped I wouldn't have to see this particular face again. Guess we can't always get what we want *sigh* also what's the shit with those glasses? *snort*

Also, I mean, I'm by no means an expert, but even I know that you don't actually store a bow with the string attached? You unclip it so it doesn't wear out? But whatever, what do I know about angelic weaponry, right.

Wtf he was cleared for missions seasons ago. Did they forget? Apparently? Ugh but I don't care so, moving on.

“You'll be save on this balcony.”

*SIGH* Honestly I'm wondering what they even learn at their dumb Shadowhunter Academy. Since common sense, first aid, and make sure your frikkin enemy is dead by slitting their throat and !never! turn your back on them are obviously not on the curriculum. SMH.

Ngl though, good riddance on the Max front XD

Guess I cheered too early. You had one job, Jonathan. One. Job.

HAHAHAHA HONESTLY HAHAHA THE GUY NEXT TO HER FALLS AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN TWITCH, JUST KEEPS RECORDING LOOOL

Btw all the people running away, they're screaming their heads off but they're not really like, running? They're barely even jogging lol it's so funny XD

Let me just....

Yes. This.

Also that whole “I've never been to Toronto” totally clashes with Izzy asking Clary literally three minutes earlier if she can open her a portal to Los Angeles. I mean, they don't even try and pretend that their portal travel is consistent anymore. Sigh.

I mean. He. Hehehe.

Amazing that Magnus has been in this exact street in his exact spot. Luck-y.

Same, Jonathan. Same.

Wow she's smart trying the spite approach to get Jonathan to want to prove her wrong.

.....or not. Wtf Clary. You had him. Even after all this, you could have salvaged this. But there's just No Happy Ending for Jonathan. It's so unfair. Rest in peace, my poor misunderstood murderous incest baby.

Also

Wing Rune? Death via Crushing Wing Hug??

Btw if the runes are gifts from the angels and they don't approve of her use then why do they keep sending them to her?? Just, don't? Problem solved? No need for a Jocelyn!Scolding?

Edit: As a smart person pointed out to me Clary's ability to create runes isn't a direct gift from the angels that they gave her specifically, it's a result of Valentine's neat experiments. But then I wonder a) why the angels even allowed those blasphemous experiments in the first place (since apparently they can long-distance-derune people no problem, then I guess they could have stopped Valentine too?) and b) if they have the power to long-distance-derune people and they have the power to form some sort of resistance against Clary inventing runes..... how does that add up? Why the heck can't they forge a resistance strong enough against Clary's attempts to create a specific rune? It makes no sense. You can't be ridiculously powerful in one rune-aspect and ridiculously weak in one other rune-aspect. Either the angel has power over the runes (since they were a gift from him) or he doesn't. But this is rubbish. Or, y'know, plot convenience. Ugh.

Buhuu, they didn't use the stupid ass angelic rune ever so whatever. Until Raziel doesn't come down and exchanges her spinal marrow I'm writing this off as Consequenceless Dramatics.

Malec Wedding Ceremony. Phew. Originally I thought I'd keep this short but I changed my mind. Since this is my last reaction post I might as well go all out (with the salt, among other things), so. Here we go.

Music choice and the general everything-is-muffled-under-the-song was absolutely wonderful. I really love that song and it's very Malec-y.

UGH

AWWW WOULD YOU LOOK WHO DEIGNED TO SHOW UP

The suit suits him (ahahahaha I'm so sorry) but I'm kinda bummed he's not wearing Shadowhunter Gold?! I mean?!

Whoever that is, she has kickass hair and I love it, and I kept looking for her in the background the whole time. To some success I might add.

Yeah please show me Lorenzo's face instead of, idk, Jace's wtf haha. Also who invited Meliorn.

Is it even a real wedding ceremony when the groom is already wearing his ring??

U G H

Cat should have been the one to give Magnus away. Maryse could have given Alec away if she must (honestly, it should have been Jace, not Robert or Maryse, but whatever). But Maryse giving Magnus away? The Fuck? She HATED him two months ago. She literally gave up on him after he SAVED ALL THEIR ASSES AND WAS STUCK IN EDOM after like half a day. Also I kind hate her ridiculous redemption. But sure, have Cat, his best friend for centuries, stand on the sidelines and only show her face for a second. Frikkin Madzie had more screen time than Cat wtf. I hate that Shadowhunters infiltrate every aspect of Magnus's life and force his Downworlder friends out of it. That's the real oppression wtf. I'm so angry at this. The frikkin audacity.

Awww, the other half second of Cat's screen time. Let me fawn over it. I love her dress, especially the arms, the necklace is a bit much but she rocks it anyway, I love her hairdo and her smile is the sweetest.

*cough*

Ngl I laughed my ass off at this. Because, y'know, communication. Is totally their thing, isn't it. They're so good at it. This is sarcastic in case you can't tell.

I really really loved this line though.

HAHAHA I LOST IT. I mean, I found their interlaced speaking ridiculous already, but this?? PFFFF HAHAHA. No. Just, no. But I guess the one good thing I can take away from this is that since they both say their “always” together it is in fact the same “always” so thanks for more Immortal Alec Foreshadowing.

Whoa those are a lot of candles. I approve. Lexa does, too.

Magnus throwing confetti is too cute for this world.

And then they just.... leave? Am I the only one finding that weird???? This was so short? Where are they going?? lol????

Okay, apparently Clary's runes are all gonna disappear. Uh. Okay. I don't see where this makes sense, but anyway. Her acting in these last moments was absolutely awesome.

I really love that Magnus and Raphael got the scene together that they deserved. I just enjoy that Downworlder Dad Magnus and Grumpy Son Raphael aren't treated as a Plot Devices and only interact when some Stupid Plotline requires it, but outside of it too. It's so refreshing.

Ralf: “Oh God please spare me.”

........not my lucky day apparently.

Hahahaha love ya.

DAMN RIGHT

Jace and Maryse dancing in the background tho. Cute.

BTW wtf, I didn't undestand Annoying!Ghost!Jocelyn in the way that Clary was gonna die. Just, she wouldn't have her fancy rune powers anymore. And okay, apparently she won't have any rune powers but... uh, death? That's a whole different dimension we're talking here. And why tf can't anyone be precise on this show for once wtf!

1) Helen is valid and for probably the first time in her life said something smart. 2) They started dating 3 days ago, wtf gals, I mean I heard of the u-haul cliché but honestly wtf. lol.

Ralf: *hits pause* NO. Kay, in the same room as Ralf, fully aware that the latter is watching the last half of 3x22 with the Malec Wedding (with headphones, I'm considerate and don't want to spoiler my sister): What is it? Are they adopting a child? Ralf: No, WORSE. Kay: Are they pregnant?? Ralf: NOOOOOOO Kay: Tell me. Ralf: ........no. I want to see the look on your face when you see this.

You had one job dude. One job. And you failed.

Ralf: I'm going to be sick.

Honestly. WTF. Sorry, but Lorenzo is probably the un-gayest character on this show. Wtf. No. I refuse. I also refuse to believe that anyone looks at Lorenzo's self-important pompous ass and thinks hnnnngh relationship material. Or worse, one-night stand material. No! No! Punching bag material! Sleek antagonist material! That's all he is dammit!!

I REALLY AM GOING TO BE SICK WTF. UGH NO. NOOO WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE (aka screen writers) WHO THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA. And also, can I give the biggest anti-compliment to the Max actor for the absolutely shitty delivery of this line? It's as if he's as dead inside as I am, because he says this as if he honestly couldn't give a single shit about Magnus and just ??????????????? wtf

Yeah, that one time she glanced at him in the Ops Center really gave it away. What the actual ffkk. Alec was preoccupied with other things then, wtf, he wouldn't even notice that on a good day. Sorry, show, but less is more sometimes. Not everyone needs a frikkin significant other and this is just ridiculous. What's next, Max and Madzie? UGH.

Lol this would be less ridic if apart from 1x05 this wasn't their first interaction.

NO NO NO NO!!!!!! I hate that I can't stop scanning the background for them! It's like the countdown on a bomb, you can't look away even though you know you should just turn and run. WTF. NO.

bitch what's alec been doing his whole life huh huh huh????

“Every single cell in my body loves you. And when those cells die and new ones are born those cells love you even more. So Jace, no matter what happens, my love for you will never die.”

Ridiculous Shadowhunter Biology Knowledge striking but I'll let it slide because that was really sweet.

Also ahahaha shouldn't that rune be gone already???

Shadowhunter #1 in the Background: *biting back a sob* I'm so crushed I wasn't invited to Malec's wedding and saddled with active duty instead. Shadowhunter #2 in the Background: *wiping away tears* Yeah, me too.... What did we ever do to deserve this </////////3

Again, how did she understand that from the weird AF scolding??? TF.

Uh, yeah, blatant contradiction, whatever. Btw since I know how that goes in the books (for Simon) I'm really wondering if they're gonna pull the same thing for Clary now. (Ugh.)

Also, following both a hint and innate curiosity I paused on the letter that Clary supposedly actually wrote AND WTF HAHAHAHA. I CAN'T.

Dear Jace, forgive me for leaving all of a sudden. I came to the realization that it's time for me to move on. I don't know what is motivating me to take this action but I must act on my feelings. From the first day we met we had a connection from ??? my introduction to the Shadow Hunters World. Alec, Simon, Izzy, the institute and all of the Shadow Hunters opened up skills and experiences that I could never imagine I had. You and I spent many years together and have experienced many adventures together which I will never forget. Many times over they have put our lives at risk but we have always managed to survive in the end. You have saved my life on many occasions (screen end, but I guess sth like “you have looked”) after me and taken care of me (same, “which I'll never”) forget. Your love for me I will always (“treasure”?) May our Shadows meet again, Love Clary

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL HAHAHAHAHA WTF

........................I paused here and I was this tempted to just, stop watching. Honestly, Shadowhunters, what have you done to me. Making me honestly consider to ditch the last ten minutes of a show that I dearly, dearly love. Wtf. I just, I can't. Wow.

Where's the beard, Luke. It's been “a year” so uh you've had time to grow it back.

1) Magnus “left handed” Bane again writing with his right hand. Mysterious. 2) Honestly I kinda spaced out on this scene after this shot because those blue smears? I was so SURE those would be fingerpaint clumsily smeared on Magnus by Malec's Baby of Horrors. I was so focused on there being any hints of them having adopted a baby already, dreaded anguish kinda making it impossible to taking in anything else. The only thing I really noticed is that they moved with their whole ass loft and I love that.

Honestly, this and the “High Warlock of Alicante” are the only two acceptable things about this whole terrible fever haze dream I have entered. Not that “High Warlock of Alicante” makes any sense. It just has a nice ring to it, that's all. I really can't put into words how ridiculous and, yeah, almost offensive I find it that they actually pretend that blatant racism can be wiped out of the minds of people in the matter of a single year. Sure. The whole Clave changed their racist beliefs and Alec skipped from being a mere Head of an Insitute over being a Clave Envoy to being an Inquisitor (which doesn't even make sense, since an Inquisitor seems to be going from Institute to Insitute and acting as a judge for Shadowhunters on trial, not negotiating how the Clave treats Downworlders). And which warlocks exactly does Magnus represent in Alicante? It makes no sense for the Clave to allow Downworlders to just, randomly live there? And that's got nothing to do with discrimination, that's just logic if you run a military organization: You don't allow civilians to mingle. They don't belong in the Ops Center of an organization they have no part in? I'm all for Downworlders being allowed to participate in legislative etc. but living in Alicante (as more than the significant other of a Shadowhunter) makes no sense. And sorry, I don't believe that in one year there formed SO MANY Shadowhunter/Warlock relationships that SO MANY warlocks moved to Alicante that they need a HIGH WARLOCK for representation. There's SO MUCH wrong with all of this that I have no choice but to move on.

Hmmmm it only took Maia one (1) year to realize that carefully painting over blood splatters with yellow (and not even removing pictures while doing so) isn't in fact enough to cover them up and she needs to get a completely new paintjob, prefereably in a dark color.

Okay that made me laugh at least.

*rolls eyes so hard* And again with the pointless coupling up of characters. Are singles even a thing in this world? Apparently not. *SIGH*

“The Drevak Demons in Long Island?” “The hunt continues.” “Don't stop until they're gone. Is that clear?”

As much as I love Izzy, I'm not sure this dialogue really assures me of her competence as Head? I mean? “The demons are not dead yet? Kill them until they are, understood? And don’t argue with me on that, I’m super serious!!” It's not as if this isn't literally all that Shadowhunters do all day. I just don't see Izzy working a desk job. She's meant to be out in the field, slaying demons and cracking jokes and her whip while doing that. Sorry, but that's just how it is.

I could even tolerate that Sizzy scene because I was sooooo relieved Underhill didn't mention having a significant other or anything of the sort. Dodged a frakkin bullet there.

Edit: Nope, no, I can't. It's been two weeks and I have regained enough of my strength to be salty about Sizzy. But let me keep it to a minimum because time. 1) Simon not wanting to kiss Izzy in the hall is ridiculous, as if it hasn't been common knowledge since before that whole Downworlder Deputy Stuff started that they are a thing. So obviously this was just to pepper in the fact that he is in fact one of the Downworlder Deputies, whatever that should mean.

2) Nice to know that Simon continues to exploit his girlfriend's authority. Some things never change I guess, first with Saia and now with Sizzy. 3) I just find it ridiculous that while Simon wasn't able to keep a relationship running for more than two weeks before, suddenly this one works out a whole year without a hitch. Oh right, this was The Endgame Pairing, the other's weren't. *sigh*

<3<3<3<3<3 The Jimon Friendship we deserve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE CONTENT I WANT TO SEE, NOT WHATEVER THAT OTHER NIGHTMARISH STUFF WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uh-huh, and what was Simon doing, exactly? Oh right.

Anyway.

I mean, as much as I love this dynamic and the fact that Jace managed to form a friendship with Simon who he kinda hated / pitied before, and as much as I love this scene itself..... the implications for Jalec are terrible. Jace is obviously not coping. At All. He's one wrong word from having tears running from his eyes in any given situation. And Alec just, effs off to Alicante to sip martinis with Magnus? Thank you for nothing, Alec. Wtf. I'd like some details on when exactly he decided to leave his parabatai alone in New York with all his heartbreak.

A toned down version of events would have been better. Alec still being Head of the Insitute, fighting tooth and nail against the Clave to implement Downworlder Involvement on more levels. Magnus being the High Warlock of Brookyln (because obviously Lorenzo got sacked for misconduct, come on). Simon and Jace growing closer over the shared devastating loss of Clary. Izzy slaying demons like a Queen. Underhill being single.

We could have had it all.

“You know, I pray every day, every day to the angels that they will see that our love is stronger than their spite.”

Lol Jace I'm not sure that's the way to phrase a prayer you want heard.

Okay, I'm gonna need several explanations here, ranked by importance:

1) WHY THAT HAIRCUT WTF

2) How exactly did Clary go from “complete memory loss, homeless, no money, no family, no friends, no nothing, literally just the clothes on her back” to “well-adjusted human being attending school, being super successful with her art, having an appartment and an astounding lack of depression” in a year?

????? ???????? ???????????????

???????

3) I really don't know a lot about either fashion or art, but both differ greatly from what we've seen from Clary so far. Neither her clothes match what she used to wear, nor her art style. She never drew abstract things. It was always portraits of people, or very detailed and realistic looking buildings / demons / sigils. So this doesn't really make sense either. I don't think they intended this to be the opening of a profound philosophical discussion on how much of your personality is laid down in your DNA and how much is just environment and experiences shaping you, so I really REALLY wonder why the f they did that, instead of having Clary draw Shadow World related stuff like before, when Magnus had her memories locked away.

Love the throwback. Also love Jace's reaction of running away, it's so relatable in this situation of utter emotional overload.

Okay, the end. I'm trying my best to end this on a slightly positive note okay, because otherwise I'll just make myself sad. First off, I HATE open endings with a passion, so this left me enraged. Second off, I can't believe the Clace Shippers were left with this as the last scene of their OTP. I kind of get it from a meta stance, they wanted there to be a point of contact for a possible pick-up, but still. They didn't even kiss. They didn't even have clarity what exactly Clary remembers. I hate it! Third off, how ridiculous is it that after a year Clary randomly remembers? Uhh? Why does the angel's punishment suddenly not work anymore? “Because love conquers all” etc. Uh-huh. Then why did it take a frakkin year? Huh, Jace?! If this had been the first time Clary and Jace see each other again, fine, I would have bought it. But “random” is such an unsatisfying explanation. Just, don't. So if you'll excuse me, I'll happily pretend none of this happened. Or it happened one month later, not a year wtf. Or I'll just follow through on my rewrite and rectify all the things I didn't like about these last two episodes.

And now that all the rage is out of the way, the good things. I loved both of Clary and Jace's acting in this scene (which lolllll I specifically point out because mostly in their couple scenes one of them fails XD). The careful way Clary touches Jace's rune and the way he almost flinches back, too raw for it, but also his vulnerable helpless smile, and how Clary smiles back. I also really liked the song. And the final shot, of the camera pulling away and into the nightsky, that was nice. It felt like an ending, so at least that gave me some closure.

I love this show. Even with all its infuriating plot holes and ooc-ness. It means a lot to me. It has inspired me to write fic like no other fandom. I plan to stick around for a long time to come, with both fics and tumblr posts. I'll rewatch episodes, obsess over details and grumble about shit I disliked because that's just what I do. It's how I show my appreciation. I guess what I'm trying to say is

Thank you

[loonagarden]

20010705 = 18 Listening Guide

A very curated 18 song playlist for Amos.

1 - It's a birthday playlist, so this is a fitting opener. The lyrics are really close to your sentiments about turning 18 as well lol.

2 - Anecdote: one time, we were playing a Lorde-off. You won that time because she still had, like, 15 songs, and I didn't know this one (it's a deluxe one, ok). Thus, it always reminds me of you and the last time you will ever know more about Lorde than me.

3 - This song is a bop. Also very cynical about the current world, yet slightly hoping for more goodness to sprout somewhere. Very much like you haha. It's also very techy, which is, like, 65% of your personality.

4 - Your natal chart ruler is Gemini Jupiter in the 7th, so a song about it. The lyrics are pretty dramatic and almost pretentious, but it's poetic, large in sound, and in conversation form. I think that's what Gemini Jupiter is all about. As for the 7th house, so many talented people made it so uhhhhh partnerships...?

5 - This is the anime reference song in the playlist lol. As you've said, anime is your personality trait, so I took one from a show you've never seen. It sounds like a quintessential Japanese anime opening. It could be from anywhere. But anyway, the guitar riffs will never fail anyone. Ever.

6 - Okay, don't overthink this one. I just had like a gut feeling you should listen to this. I know you're going thru a dry spell in your faith, and literally everyone is worried, even you. However, it's really natural, healthy even. Although Macklemore isn't really a way to resolve that, just wanna say that like his ode in this song, it's a work in process. When you think God is farthest from you, you have no clue how near He actually is. It will feel empty, hopeless, and dumb. It will feel inescapable. But keep talking to God. Keep asking. Keep fighting for your desire to understand. He listens more than most people give Him credit for, and He, like the good and gracious Creator that He is, will satisfy you in ways you could have never thought of.

7 - Because you listen to the most boring genre ever (charot lang), here is a lo-fi recommendation.

8 - Because we have similar tastes in musicals, this one is from Six, which is a R&B musical about the wives of Henry the VIII. This one is particulary bad-ass and a derivative of Satisfied. Broadway is really changing lmao.

9 - This song hits hard. I'm not sure if you like this genre but it's a feel-good, bounce song. I think everyone needs that in life. Also, listen to more Japanese rap. Ryohu is one of my favorites. Sadly, there are no English lyrics but it's okay, it's still a bop. (Let's just hope it doesn't mean anything bad).

10 - You should also listen to Korean rap (lol). Look up the lyrics to this song. Epik High is one of the most respectable Korean artists, and I can recommend the whole album this song is from. It deals with how difficult life can be because of our mentalities, but it's better and less lonely to know that many people also relate to the same burdens.

11 - Another musical recommendation, this time from Beetlejuice. We all need a good, old-fashioned conversatiom duet by two opposite characters. It reminds me of What is this Feeling from Wicked, and has the same emo, mental breakdown as Freeze Your Brain. The delivery is also funny. Classic Broadway.

12 - One of my absolute favorite Bleachers songs. This one is particularly uplifting. Kind of coming-of-age, too, which is a nice supplement to your turning 18.

13 - There should be an OPM recommendation here, so this sarcastic, self-aware, mellow, alt-rock Filipino song is quite suitable for you. I think it will resonate with anyone, at some point. I think your music taste is also lyrically driven, so this is an interesting listen. Also, the wa-wa board, the brass, and the bongos. Exquisite taste.

14 - Another mandatory lo-fi recommendation, but the soundscape is really fun so I kinda like it.

15 - This Kevin Abstract song reflects on the weight of overthinking (the world, relationships, everything), and how even despite of that, one still does know enough. Being 18 does nothing but confuse you even more. From your ate who has been there, don't bother trying so hard to get the answers and ends. They just come.

16 - And yet another mandatory lo-fi recommendation to break the drama.

17 - When you told me to watch Steven Universe two years ago and I finally did one night while I was new to sleeping in my dorm, I was comforted by that show in ways you can never imagine right now. I'm very grateful because you told me to do it. Hearing Love Like You again after a while floods me with melancholy and joy at the same time. It was time in my life where I was pushed to be an adult, but the show illustrated to me, in the best way possible, that I can do this without leaving any of myself behind. I made peace with the version of myself that I hated because of that. I think I will always attribute Steven Universe to you, so thank you for liking cartoons and sharing them with me. In fact, thank you that when you like something, you share it with me.

18 - This is the most perfect and probably the only way to end this being "of age" playlist. You reminded this to me a few weeks ago, so I'm telling it to you as well, from the wise words of someone who has matured but has and will never let go of our innate magic and light too often forgotten by the pace of this world: don't you ever grow up.

Happy birthday, Moting. I think we understand each other's music taste above surface level as a means of expression and connection. Thank you for being a kind and understanding brother who listens well to me, and who converses with me freely because it helps me grow as a person too. I took note when Taylor Swift said remember your little brother's favorite songs. I don't think these are but I hope you can learn to like them too. I am and will always be proud of you, even when there are times we argue (duh, because we're siblings), no matter what you decide to be as a person, I will always root for you and your fulfillment.

Again, happy birthday. I pray to God that He always keeps you by His side because then I am assured that even when we fail you, and even when you feel inadequate yourself, you are loved still, abundantly, unceasingly, and endlessly. I hope you enjoy your day and another year under God's grace!!! 18 ~ Let's get it ~ lmaoooo

[haruki-ya]

songs 4 the soul

So here’s something I’ve had on my mind for a min courtesy of an ask that @cmrnfry sent to @totallylegitakiraquotes: Akira character songs ! (sorry 2 piggyback of ur concept outta the blue but....it has haunted me ever since i saw it somewhere in the ether)

Tetsuo gives me strong “When I Was Done Dying” vibes by Dan Deacon, it’s chock full of manic energy and an unsettling yet captivating chaos that ultimately makes me feel some type a (SAD) way. I think it p well encapsulates the unimaginable, nonsensical transformation of Tetsuo, both physically and mentally, especially towards the end of his journey :( “Song 2″ by Blur also makes me think of Tetsuo...R.I.P. forehead boi.

Kaneda is so “Animal Keeper” or “Manic Machine” by George Barnett! He’s such a goofy, happy go lucky kinda guy (at first lol always easier to hide pain behind a smile) but I can never chase the idea of his undercurrent of Edginess™ just adding to his overall boyish charm instead of like actually making him seem more badass or anything?? ...like come on that boy is a jock at heart. watch Manic Machine and you’ll see what I’m trynna convey here hahah. This song is more of a joke tbh but “Therapy” by All Time Low...Kaneda could us some of that. 

Kei makes me think of Allie X’s fuckin banger of a song “Bitch” but like in an ultra empowering, kinda sad and melancholy way. she is obv the most mature and competent character in the whole series (yea i said it) like where would Kaneda be without her ?? prolly dead like five times over (yea i said that too!) which is why the song makes me think more specifically of the romantic relationship between Kei and Kaneda too (kinda toxic, kinda unfulfilling, but kinda addicting to the both of em yikes. always thought they’d make better friends tbh). Another song that reminds me of Kei is “I Eat Boys Like You For Breakfast” by Ida Maria because she’s just that kinda gal, you know? 

Yamagata ! def associate him with anything by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, but it’s a toss up between specifics like “Rifles” or  “Beat The Devil’s Tattoo”. Something about him has always seemed very somber and secure to me, a serious, let’s-get-down-to-business kinda guy. His name literally means mountain man ! Grounded, rooted deeply in the earth, immovable ! Out of all the Capsule members, he’s the one who really fits the description of Badass Biker Boy that B.R.M.C exudes imo, def served as Kaneda’s right hand for a reason. 

Kaisuke the angel bless his sweet soul makes me think of “Dread In My Heart”  or “Waiting For The World To End” by Mother Mother. He’s such a sensible lil bean, very emotive and sympathetic too, which makes me think that he would be insecure of his soft heart and often feel not quite cowardly, but simply not as brave and strong as his Capsule brothers. kinda side note but i will ALWAYS love his color scheme, a true fashun icon.

That’s all folks ! thanks for coming to my unprompted and purely self indulgent TEDx ! :)

[stainedglassmaiden]

spoilers ahead - okay - so i just watched the siren on xfinitystream.

im so disappointed - or maybe ive just gotta think harder about it/watch the ending again - because it wasnt a common kind of style of a movie, and during most of it, i felt like it was going somewhere interesting . but thenn, at the end like in the last 5-10 minutes, idk, there were flashbacks or fantasies or something, i wasnt suree what was real or not, and it made the end confusing, and there be wayy less closure than i feel like there could have been!!! cause i feelll like maybee if they picked maybe onee of the confusing scenes/fantasies or something at the end, it could’ve made the closure and whole movie seem like 40% better and have more of a clear message. ughhh! they were soo close to having something interesting [and good+clear]!

some ppl had very negative reviews of it, because they didnt understand how the details related, but i think those were some of the most significant parts, and found how i thought they related, to explain and explore some themes in the story.

--

so the movies about a young man, whod never been in love and is mute and v christian, who is taking a break from his life in the church, to stay at a cabin on a lake. [although he had lost his voice in the first place when he was drowned type thing when he was young]. and his neighbor is a man whos lookin kinda rough, cause he lost his husband to what he thinks is a folklore of a monster in this lake, who drowned the husband. so now, this widower wants to find the monster and get revenge and kill the monster. and the background is, that the monster is supposed to be a woman based on like a siren [bc of the title] orr? -a slavic myth of a woman whos undead and haunts a body of water where she had drowned herself when she was unhappy with her husband/was heartbroken.

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so! i thought it was unique bc it was a very simple set, and not much dialogue probs cause the man was mute, but that was alright with me! it wasnt uncomfortablyy quiet. it was fun for a rainy day, like a little melancholy and a little spooky and a little lovesick . idkk, it was a moodd, if youre in that mood lols, and want solidarity with a movie.

fun how they had diversity, with an asian woman playing the siren - you dont see much asian representation in western movies. and a gay man just casually thrown in there, not a big deal, which is also cool uncommon diversity representation a little bit . andd likee, ability-diversity with a mute character, and its not like a big deal, but maybe people like that would like to see people like their own selves reflected/represented in movies tooo, so they dont feel on the outsidee of the realm of “kinds of people who can be starred as kinds of movie characters” usually, you know? :).

-

some details that other people thought werent relevant and annoyingly random, were things that i thought weree very interesting and related to a message of the movie!

-like i thought the music was significant. it was this very like, etherial possibly what would you call it - like monk like, cathedral echo-y singing. you  know how theres that kind of music like in cathedrals? etherial? -andd its like the kind of music that sirens are traditionally thought to sing. like echo-y and kinda haunting. so i thought that tied the siren and the religious mute characters together. andd they were falling in love anyway. andd it sounds haunting-y and theyre both kindaa haunted by stuff in the back of their minds, like she, by her curse and her lost love in the past or whatever, and she wishes she could come back to land and be normal, but this curse is keeping her in the water - and him, by whether he should return to his church or not - since he had gotten a phone message from them saying like, dont strayyy from the churchh and dont sinnn come back to us!

thenn, i dont think his mute-ness is random either. i think it signifies the theme of like, misunderstanding and miscommunication [and how that can be frustrating]. like how she is frustrated bc shes seen as a monster [and is one] but shes also, sometimes just a normal girl, when the curse isn’t taking a hold of her. and the widower thoughtt he misunderstood her, when he wasnt sure if she wass actually the monster, because sometimes, she just acts like a lady, and he felt sorry that he was blaming her, since he was like, “theres probs no such thing as monsters, shes probs justt a normal lady”.

thenn, i dont think him being gay was random either i guess . people were annoyed about all these random choices about the characters’ characteristics, because they seemed random and distractingly irrelevant. but i think its relevant because idk i thought maybe because sirens were originally supposed to lure menn to their graves. so it makes it easier for him maybe, and more believeable that he wouldnt be able to be more focused, to try to kill her, and not be lured. even if it wouldnt literallyy work, maybe its just supposed to be symbolicc for their repellant -rather than luring - relationship.

something lacking in love - is another theme i think it was cool how they explored it in different ways. like how the mute man had never been in love, and when talking about that, the neighbor was like, “i dont know if i should feel sorry about that or not. can you imagine that?!”. and even when he did nearly get love with the siren, they could never really comfortablyy be alll the way in each others’ worlds, either on land or in the water. -not on land, because she has to always have atleast part of her body in the water, so shes always just kinda soggily, uncomfortably, sitting on the edge of the dock. they cant comfortably be in the water either, because firstly, he doesn’t know how to swim/is afraid of getting in the water, since thats how hed lost his voice as a child - and, because i guess the curse starts to take control of her when shes near other people when theyre in the water, and she needs to drown them. and, how both the other couples had had love, but then i guess they either lost their partner, or it ended in heartbreak.

it made me sad but was moving in a good way, how when she wasnt feeling the siren curse, they did try their best to change to be able to hang out. like she triedd to resist the curse and climbb out of the water to join him on land (although it didnt work). and how since she couldnt come out, hed lie on the dock withh her so she could stilll put her foot in the water. that was cute and thoughtful.

v low lighting though. like, i know we’re trying to make it spooky and a bummer, but also, i can barely see what youre doing. ever heard of likee, idk, a gray or dark blue filter for the camera, so its like the illusionn of night time, but doesnt actuallyy make things too obscure to see things?!

the choices of casting were nice though. i feel like the mute man and siren had chemistry you can feel, evenn if they couldn’t even talk much!.

the ending couldvee been clever. i just didnt really understand. but there wass a flashback or fantasy where idk, i think it was the mute man ended up becoming a siren tooo! (you could tell because his eyes became as big and dark as herss when she was under the curse being a siren), and then that was cooll cause thenn they were shown just bothh being sirenss in her little cove in the waterr, so they couldd be happy and togetherr all the time actuallyy, in the water! thatd’ve been a nice ending. although they would have to explain why hes a siren now, cause they hadn’t. i guess hed have to drown himself or get drowned, with/from a broken heart, just like she did, to become one. but why would his heart be broken, cause theyre ablee to hang out pretty much, when shes nott a siren, and shes not dead ..

butt, they did just end the movie (spoiler!) with him deciding to leave the lake (i didnt understand why?), and when he leaves, she seen kinda swimming up in the distance, to/towards his empty cabin. maybe thats just saying, “and thenn, they were never ablee to be together anywayy, and itd alwayss be like this imagee for them - how it was in the first place, with him on just on land, and herr, only and forever just kinda stuck lurkingg in the distancee, in the waterr - tooo far away from him/remote/[misunderstood! -and cant fix that [monster part] about herself] - to ever really be with him for real. :(.

hm. so i think idk, either make it clearerr, which of these endings are just fantasies,/why, or just choose onee of them, and committ to thatt message. for the movie. lols. orr if you choose the ending where he becomes a siren too, you gotta explain why that happened better.

plus, (spoiler) when the widower got killed and joined his husband at the bottom of the lake, i feel like that couldve been used to say something significant or to bring something full circle or make a point of some kind. but it didnt, so.. i kind of dont understand why that was done. although i cant think of a better ending for that character, and cant think of how else his story could’ve played out - because either he has to get killed by the siren, he has to kill the siren, or he has to never be able to catch and kill the siren - but either way, idk howw youd make eitherr of these possible endings come to an interesting and satisfying solution, for the scheme of the rest of the movie’s story. i guessss its kindaa cool that atleastt he ended up with his husband againn.. [at the bottom of the lake..] which is kinda dark - but its like , ..so ? that wasnt even his/the goal..!

so yea. i like this movie. its quiet and oddly sweet and kinda moody, which sometimes youre actually in the mood to watch. just kinda chilly. and spooky and nostolgic. im just frustrating cause i felt like it was onto something brilliant, then the ending was kinda noncommital and a flop.

but it seemed kinda thoughtful and cool how it was somethingg about like - the themes of frustration, misunderstanding, things not quitee fitting together in life, longing. which are things that arent usuallyy the point of most movies, so it was cool to get to reflect on those things [in media], uncommonly/for once, through watching this one.

[maybe the point/message of this movie was: Sometimes, you just try your best to make things work out (from the various examples of this being tried throughout the movie), but its okay to be sad and bummed when it doesn’t work out how you wanted it too, because that is how it has to end up sometimes (likethe husbands wanted to be together - and they didnt quite get what they wanted cause they didd end up together - but it was when theyre Dead at the bottom of the lake, -or how the siren wantss to overcome her curse, by healing and moving on from her previously broken heart, by trying to overcome riskss to fall in love againn with a neww man, and defying the curse trying to climb out of the water - but (for some reason?) sometimes, i guess thats just a fantasy, like all their flashbacks. so now shes just gonna be soggy and dripping and uncomfortable (physically and emotionally) in her humans clothes (not like, traditionally fun and comfortable and alluring like how mermaids who weree made to originallyy belong in the water, look.), just watching her potential [future] lovers and things she thoughtt were opportunitiess to heal from the curse, pass her by on land - while she watches them from very far away in the water. [im not suree how the mute one fits in to this message perfectly - but i guess maybe hes just the accessory to the siren’s part of the message].